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Today I was driving to work. It's a normal day, alarm goes off, I hit the snooze, 9 minutes later alarm goes off, I hit snooze again. Finally I wake up and rush to get ready and get out the door and hurry off to work. It's 6:40 am, not exactly like everyday because our car is in the shop, I get into my dad's truck instead of mine. That is beside the point. It's foggy outside, a little light is starting to peak over the horizon. I am traveling down the same road I travel every morning. I get on the interstate and take the Greenwood exit. It's about 6:50 am and I can see some blue lights flashing in the distance. I couldn't quite make it out, because of the fog, but there seemed to be 3 of them. I began to slow down as I approached the flashing lights, traffic was moving slow and on the other side of the road it seemed to be at a near stop. I can see a white car that was torn to peices. Parts of the car were all over the road, and in the parking lot of a nearby business. The driver side of the car was completely torn off, I could see completely through the front and backseat of the car, the airbags were deployed and the policemen were marking places on the road with red paint. I did not know at the time how much time had lapsed from the actual time of the wreck and the time I drove through. I knew it had been a while becuase there were no ambulances, only clean up crews. I began to cry, my heart began to break. It's funny what gets to us sometimes. 2 days ago one of my 60 cousins passed away, and although I was sad for the family's loss, it did not seem to affect me the same emotional way as this wreck that I came upon on my way to work. My cousin was quite a bit older than I, nearly 16 years older, I had not seen her in years. Probably since my grandparents passed away 8 years ago. As I was driving to work, I was crying and praying for these people in the wreck, somehow I knew someone didn't survive. I began to pray for their family's. I was thinking that as I was driving through this accident, she should probably would have been at work going through her normal routine, being thankful for the holiday week. Maybe it was even going to be a short work week. She probably had plans of christmas shopping this weekend. I'm sure she didn't know that today would be her final day, that on her way to work she would run into a flat bed truck and her life would instantly be complete here on earth. She probably didn't have time to make a decision in her life, that time we all think we have. I began to ask God, What can I do? What have I missed? How many chances will I let go by without touching someone's life, without sharing the love of Christ? That could have been me, or you. But at that time it wasn't my time to die. At that time it was time to ask Christ what can I do? How can I fulfill your purpose in my life? Who do I need to talk to today? What relationships do I need to mend today?
Life is too short, how will you live the next hour. My daughter wants me to make tea and have a tea party with her. I am going to make a meal for my family and sit down and enjoy and evening with them. I am going to sit down and practice their parts for the christmas program. Don't wish your life away. Don't wake up wishing your work day was already over. Wake up asking God, "Make my day go slow, help me to make the best of every chance I have to share your love with those around me, let my family have a great day and let them share your love with their friends, and bring us together at the end of the day and let us have a nice long relaxing evening together," Be thankful for another day, ask God to help you make the most of everyday he has given you.
God has a purpose for you today. Will you spend your day spouting off and trying to anger someone. Will you spend it being mad because of something someone said or did? Or will you get up asking God to show you his purpose in your life for today. Because if you got up everyday searching for God's purpose, I'm sure it would not include anger, hate, or revenge. Even if your purpose is just praising him and worshiping him in whatever way you can, it is the purpose God has given you today. Maybe someone needs help getting their car fixed, a visit at the hospital, a babysitter, maybe someone needs you to bring food to their house. Dont' overlook the ways you can love Christ. I pray that everyday your prayer will be " God what is my purpose today, show me my purpose, open my heart, mind, and soul to do your will today."
I know that if my husband drove by that accident today, it would not affect him the way it did to me. I don't even begin to expect it to. You probably think that is heartless, but he is a nurse. He cannot become emotional over things like that, or else he would not be able to do his job the way he needs to. He needs to think like a nurse, because he his a nurse. He is still human, death affects him when it needs to. Sometimes we expect our pastor's to feel every emotion that we feel. We expect them to cry when we cry, to feel the joy we feel. Truth is, like a nurse, they need to think with a level head. Everything can't affect them the way it does you. They need to be able to hear the words God is speaking to them, so they can comfort you. They need to be able to pray, when you are so hurt that you don't feel as though you can. Like a nurse, God has a time for them to feel what you feel, and a time to just be able to do their job and lead you and be your pastor. There is a time for my husband to be the comforter, but most of the time it his job to fix you.
It's been 3 hours since I started this blog. I thought I would be fixing dinner for my family and having a tea party. But instead I had a knock on the door, my cousins viewing was tonight. So I went with my parents, seeking God's purpose. I knew that family, all of that family did not have christ. They would not know the comfort that God has for them. I watched 3 young girls and their kids cry over the loss of their mom/grandma. As I watched my cousins brothers and sisters, and even mother that seemed to have no emotion, no love for each other. It was quite sad. I had never before felt so much hate, at such the wrong time. It really hurt my soul more than her passing. Be praying for this family. But I sat with my Dad, as we seemed to be the only comforters those 3 young girls had. Girls that had already buried their father, and now their mother. I watched as my dad became daddy to them. He showed God's love the only way he could. He didn't leave their side until they were ready, and we hugged each one as we walked away.
I kept my promise to my baby, we had a tea party when I got home. There is nothing like tea with lot's of sugar and tiny whale crackers to end your day. I am thankful for the long day God gave me today. I pray that your days be long, and that God's purpose will be found in your life as you go through your day tomorrow.
Thank God for Another Day..........................
3 comments:
Thank God I'm back in my car, and drivin' home, and drivin' home.
'Cause the air was thin and so cold back in ther.
It was my first time, won't be my last time
And the questions rise expectations fall in light of it all.
There aren't words to say; word's aren't remembered, but presence is.
A good friend once told me, and he was there, he was there.
But she wasn't there. And it's not fair, and it's not fair.
What crimes have you commited, demanding such penance,
that couldn't wait for five more minutes and a cry for help?
'Cause this room is peaceful and this room is so quiet.
And i hate the silence, and I can't walk the center aisle.
Well, I've been here for over three hours,
behind th flowers,
so beautiful and young. And so alive, and so in need of someone,
Someone to talk to the. 'Cause theirs are fragile lives.
And I think about my brother,
and how I just stood there
with my hands in my pockets and my heart in my throat.
Thank god I'm back in my car, and drivin' home, and drivin' home.
But in that place I leave all my days of taking life for granted
and the words i wrote for her and my best friend crying,
and a young girls lying on all our hearts.
And I hate the silence, and I can't walk the center aisle
I leave the above lyrics because Caedmon's Call says it so much better than I could hope to. What I would point you to is the line that says "There aren't words to say; word's aren't remembered, but presence is." We spoke last night in small group about why people don't get involved. Sometimes they do it because we feel inadiquate to speak at such a terrible time. What we forget that sometimes it is our meer presence that makes the difference. I have have stood with more families than I can count and told them their mother/father/son/daughter is dead. I have cleaned up the body to prepare it for viewing. I have stood quietly, sometimes for hours, while they held their family members hand and craddled their infant for what would possibly be the last time. I say all of that not to boast or brag. I write it only to show that more often than not it is the meer fact that you are there. I remember when my father died that it was nothing my friend said that comforted, it was the fact he was there.
This reminds me about our talk this Sunday. I know that I am guilty of wanting out of bad times. I need to try and focus of what God is teaching me.
How convicting, Angie. Here I was thinking how awful it was that I had to sit in class all day and be bored when I could be out doing something more productive. Why not be thankful, instead? Why not realize that I was given this day, that God knew where I would be, and that I was there for a reason. Why not be thankful that I am going to school for free? Thanks for focusing me back with a better perspective.
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