Sunday, March 30, 2008

Death

Death does not understand hurt
Death does not know love
Death does not know lonliness
Death does not know the loved ones left behind
it does not comprehend the tears that are shed
or the emptiness that lies inside.
Death is never really expected
but inevitably it always comes
Death is something feared
either by ourselves or by someone we love

It was in death that I found hope
It was in death that my sins were washed away
It was a loved one that was sacrificed
so a paradise I could gain
It was in death that created a grace
that is greater than any sin we could commit
It was in death that God sacrificed
more than I could ever bare.
As he watched his only son
beaten, bruised, and tormented beyond my wildest nightmare.


There is eternal hope in death. Heaven is not sad, it is a happy place to be. A place that was created for God's children you see. I know that if I created a home for my kids to live, it would be the most wonderful place you have ever seen. So I can only imagine what my heavenly father has created for you and me.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

30 days to live.........or not.

In our home groups we have been discussing life with only 30 days to live. This week God has brought many people into my life. The first person is a vendor that comes into my store every other week. She lost her husband a few months ago after he had a 4 year battle with cancer. I felt truly bad that I did not know of her loss until now, but she has never spoken of it before. I don't know how the conversation came about this week, our typical conversations are about her new grand baby. I began to realize not only did I not know about her husbands death because she had not spoken of it before, but also because she always has a smile on her face. I don't remember a day that she has come to visit with me that she wasn't smiling and just enjoying the new grand baby. She always has photo's to show, she truly loves her kids and grand kid. She spoke of how God has gotten her through.
The next person that God brought into my life this week was a customer, and her name is Diann. She was very friendly, we talked for 15 to 30 minutes in the isle. She has colon cancer, she was diagnosed in 2005 shortly after her mother died of pancreatic cancer. She had no idea, her doctor had been treating her for ulcers due to the stress of her mother, and because the medication was not working he sent her to a specialist. She had surgery in 2005, the cancer had already moved to the liver and she continues chemotherapy today. In her words, not so much to get rid of the cancer but basically to keep it from spreading any further. She explained to me that her husband had also been diagnosed with colon cancer, and gave God many praises that they caught his in time and he is doing well. As she began to walk off I asked her name, and she said Diann, and I said to her that I would keep her in my prayers. She said that it is Gods grace that has brought her through this and she clings to God daily. She did not say that sadly, she said it with joy in her heart and in her voice. She thanked me for her prayers and walked away.
The next person is not someone that was just brought into my life, it was my uncle. My phone rang at 3:30 am, and my heart was racing as I picked up the phone. He passed away yesterday morning around 3 am. He and my Aunt Patsy had been married for 42 years. He was the best man at my parents wedding. Everyday I drive past his house on my way to pick up my kids, he is typically outside on the porch swing. I can see him right now, he would always lift his hands to wave as you went by, even if he didn't know who you were. He was always full of laughter and silly jokes and he did not have to know you to cut up with you. I don't think he knew a stranger. If you truly want to know how many lives a person can touch, attend a funeral. Or stop by my Aunt's house today, because people flooded in all day yesterday. Each with their own stories about Uncle Leon, there were tears and laughter, flowers and food, and heartfelt friendships grieving with their friends and family members.
My Uncle was only 67, nobody knew that yesterday would be his last day. My aunt did not know that when she went to wake him up, that he would not respond. I listened to her as she cried and talked to him at the funeral home yesterday. Her love for him was so deep, and she kept repeating how badly she was hurting inside. She kept saying that it was so hard, why did it have to be so hard. As each person went up, the words my daddy, my pa, my uncle, my friend, went out. All were crying and all missed him dearly and they were all hurting deeply. I stood beside my daddy with his arms wrapped around me and my tears streaming down my face as I watched. My dad and his brothers held her hand, they held her as she walked, they spoke words of comfort, at least the best they could. Just being there was probably more comforting than anything. As a church we often forget that. It's our job to hold the hands of hurting people, it's our jobs to speak words of comfort, it's our job to check on them and to just show them love.
Cindy Grizzle was there yesterday. My cousin Trish was her best friend. Cindy has been down this road before. I called her yesterday morning on my way to work, knowing she needed to know. Cindy showed God's love all evening, she never left my cousins side. She fixed her plate, she waited on her kids and the other family members, she held her hand. It's not about the words, it's about a servants heart. I know that my cousin will never forget that as long as she lives. That is what showing God's love is all about.....being a servant. It meant so much to me as well to have her there yesterday. It meant so much to me that Cara called and for some reason I had been in her thoughts all day. She did not know that my Uncle had passed, but God had placed me on her heart. We talked on the phone, and she too offered to come and sit with us or take care of our kids. Once again, the love of God was shining through.
I really loved my Uncle. I can see that he was really loved by a lot of people. A year ago, I wanted to learn how to play the guitar. He is very instrumental, so I went to ask for his assistance. I felt very humble before someone so experienced. But he was willing to help. Too bad I gave up so soon. He left his legacy in his daughter and his grand kids. I know they will always think of him and what he taught them every time they play and sing. I told my cousin yesterday, not too many people had a stage built in their front yard. Uncle Leon would have concerts in his front yard, he truly enjoyed music. Not just his music, but he also took time to listen to his friends and other family members sing and play. He was always asking me to come to church and sing another special. He had invited us to go with him and Patsy to hear my cousin Blake sing.
What I want to say about each of these people, is that I can see God in them. Through the smiles, and even in the hurt, the one thing that remained constant was they all knew that God would get them through. They all knew that God was going to take care of them, even in the hurt. But even in the hurt that I know is in each one of them, I could see a peace that surpasses all understanding. As I sat around yesterday visiting with family and friends, I realized what an impact that one person can make in their lifetime. What legacy will you leave behind? How will you be remembered? Are people there because you are the person that led them to Christ? Are people there because you gave them food when they had nothing to eat? Are people there because they had a close relationship with you? The day of your funeral truly says a lot about who you were and the lives you touched.
We don't know how many days we have. It doesn't matter what age you are, everyday could be the last. Monday is my husbands birthday, and I have tried very hard not to push that aside during this weekend. Out of love for me, my husband says that birthdays come every year and not to worry about him. I replied, no they don't. We have to enjoy them now, because we may not have another. I am very thankful for my family. When I say my family, I mean all of my family. My husband, my kids, my parents, my aunts and uncles, cousins, and my new family... fuel church. I am very blessed to have been apart of so many lives.
As I left my Aunt's house last night, or actually as anyone left last night, No one missed a hug or an I love you before they walked out the door. It took a little longer to leave, but it was that sense of I don't want to miss my chance. I pray that you don't miss your chance. As you walk about today, don't miss the I love yous or the hugs, don't put off another day of picking up the phone and inviting your friends and family to church, don't wait for someone else to take care of that family who needs food on their table. This could be your last, so make it count.

Monday, March 10, 2008

God has really been speaking to me a lot this week. So many amazing things are going on. Our new church is growing, we are already starting to see God changing lives in the area. It is awesome to be able to come together with a group of believers that are like minded in spirit and belief. The past few weeks God has truly shown me what he can do with a body of believers that have the same vision. I stand amazed about how this group of people were brought together. I could sit and tell the stories that I know, but the amazing part is truly not the stories themselves, but it is listening to people speak about how God brought them to where they are. The little details about how God started leading them to this place, long before this place even existed. God has a specific work for this body of believers, and we continue to seek God's will for our church. I am not saying that we are special, I think God has a specific work for every body of believers. Through different styles of music, and preaching styles and practices, every body of believers should be able to reach different groups of people. That is truly what all christians should strive to do. We are not in competition with one another, we should praise God that each group of believers are reaching souls for Christ.
What God is truly telling me, is that it is time to leave some things behind. I have spent at least 13 years in one area of ministry and I would love to move on to something new and exciting. Some area of ministry that will spark a fire within me. However, in a new work, even in an old work, there comes a time when you must first step up to the responsibilities and needs at hand. I should not seek to do something new so that it will spark a fire in me, but I should strive to do whatever God wants me to do so that Christ working in me can spark a fire among lost souls or new believers. If you have been in church for very many years at all, it sometimes becomes a game of who can we pass this off on because I don't want to do it. Or the ever so popular, I have done this for years it's someone else's turn.
I am glad that my Jesus never wanted to stop being Jesus because his turn is up. I am glad that my Jesus never tires of answering prayers, and listening to all my trouble. Because if you think about all of the crap he must have to hear in just an hours time, he must be Jesus, anyone else who had to listen to that would eventually be on medication for depression or anxiety. That is what is awesome about Christ. He never gets tired of listening to me, he never tires of listening to my prayers, if anything he wants me to pray more. He probably does get tired of the sin, but he never gives up on you.
I believe that God has a great work for each of us. So what, if we have to teach a class until the right person comes in to teach. So what if we have to work the nursery for the 10th year running, so what if you have to pick up a rag, a mop, and fill the toilet paper, so what if you make the coffee. Quit worrying about what everyone else is not doing, don't brag on what you are doing, and just glory in the worship you are having with God while you are doing it. Blessings will come. You will be amazed of how Christ can work through you just by living the right life. Just by doing what needs to be done. If you don't believe me, you will just have to figure that out on your own. God will honor your good works, as long as it is done with the right heart.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

God is Awesome

I just want to first thank God for such an awesome day. I stand amazed in his presence. Other than the fact that it was a beautiful day, and my husband no longer works weekends, God provided us with an awesome day. We ran into friends that have a new fire inside of them for Christ, they had such an amazing testimony about how God was moving in their lives. They too were experiencing some spiritual changes in their lives and we were able to sit and talk about the amazing things God is doing in our lives. It was very uplifting.

My 8 year old son taught our 5 year old daughter how to ride a bike without training wheels. I stared out the window, just taking in every minute of it. Watching him be a big brother, he helped her onto the bike, held onto her as she took off, and went to her rescue when she fell. He adjusted the seat on the bike so it would fit her better. Isn't that what life is about. Then we went to the park, where we ran into our friends. I watched Abby try to cross the monkey bars, and found herself at a place where she couldn't move forward and she was too afraid to jump down to the ground. So she yell's for her bubba to come help. Zach goes to her rescue once again. They laughed and played and had such a great time.

It is also great to know that God will provide when you are in his will. I know I have had days of doubt and trying to figure it out. There is no need in trying to do that. God has blessed us so much this week and continously has proven to us through different circumstances that he will provide.

I am thankful for my new church family and the new work we are starting together. More and more everyday God shows us that we are heading in the right direction. I pray that God is showing you in the same powerful, amazing ways that he is showing us everyday. I am thankful for my wonderful family. I am excited about our second service at fuel church tomorrow. I know God is working on something even greater than we can truly understand or see. Every service is another peice of a big puzzle that is being put together. One day we will be able to step back and see the big picture and be blessed that God allowed us to be part of his amazing work.

Have a very blessed week. Know that when there is an up, I'm sure there will be a down. In the down moments where the devil is fighting us, remember days like these and keep your eyes on God. His plan is greater than ours. Anytime the devil comes against us, he is trying to stop the great and mighty plan God has set before us.

Zach and Abby's Baptism