Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Thank God for a Wonderful Day

My dad's test came back normal. Praise God. I am so relieved that all is well. Matt and I have had some financial answers to prayer to. However I am most thankful for my daddy's health above all. I know my friends did not know it last night, but I had so much weighing on my mind. I had been stressed all day, and thinking about everything my friends had been going through with their parents. It was nice to have fellowship with the ladies at church last night. It really helped ease my mind, and help brighten an otherwise yucky Monday. I don't know what people do without a church family. I don't know how people cope without a relationship with Christ. I am thankful for a praying husband, I am thankful for praying friends. My husband prayed with me last night, today I went to work and went to my friend Anna and asked her to pray with me. I said, "where do you want to go to pray, we need to pray over my dad's test." She replied as an assistant manager was in our midst, "right here, and right now." We said a short prayer, we cried, and we thanked God for giving us friends at work that we can go to at anytime. God is way more awesome than I deserve. My husband is way more awesome than I deserve. I just want to savour what God has done for us today. I don't want to take forgranted another day God has given me with my family, another day to reach out to someone else. I ask you to first think of everything you are most thankful for right now, even if life truly sucks, there is something to be thankful for. The air in your lungs, the clothes on your back, the love of friends, food in your tummy, noises of children playing around you. You still have life, as long as there is air in your lungs, you still have a life worth living. Don't take it forgranted. Just because my dad's colonoscopy came back normal, doesn't mean he couldn't die in a car crash tomorrow. So even though I'm relieved of one thing, doesn't mean it's time to sit back and relax. It's time to enjoy every day I have with him, my mom, and my family. It's time to step up and be things to people that no one else has ever been to them before. I can't prevent people from doing stupid things, but I can prevent myself from doing the same stupid things other people do. I need to become all things to all people. I may need to be daddy to someone who's daddy doesn't seem to give a crap about their kids. I may need to teach someone what love really is, after they have spent a lifetime being abused. I'm not going to let lives fall down around me. I want to show them the love of Christ.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Heavy Heart

My heart is so heavy today. My friend lost her daddy last night, another friend is dealing with a serious illness of her mom, another friend lost her mom last week, and my heart is heavy for all of them. My dad goes for a colonoscopy tomorrow morning. I know everyone is telling me all is going to be OK, but my daddy's brother and sister died of colon cancer just a few years ago. I am a daddy's girl. I can talk to him, I know he prays for me, he is everything a daddy should be, and more. I have been begging him since the death of his brother and sister to have this done, and he his finally taking that step. I know sometimes it seems like if we don't get tested, then there is nothing to test for and all is well in the world. But for me, I have worried about my daddy for the last 3 years. So I know as my heart is heavy for him, I can't imagine what life would be without him. I know he won't always be here, but at least I have comfort of knowing that he is covered in the blood of Jesus. I remember the day my daddy accepted Christ into his life. It will forever be the best memory of all. We were saved and baptized together. To my friends, I love you all very much. I know your hearts are heavy, and some how and in some way, we will get through this life together. That is what is awesome about having brothers and sister in Christ. We are here to love each other and support each other no matter what. I love each of you, and I am so sorry that you guys have had to endure such hurt. Know that we are here for each other, and that is why we live life together. I feel like I have babbled, I'm sorry. Pray for Cindy's mom "Sue Earls", pray for Darylann and her family during the loss of her father, and pray for Ann in the loss of her mom, and please pray that my dad's test results will come out OK.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

God is In Control

Do you truly know what it means to say God is in control? Below is a journal entry from a mother in Ft Smith, Ar who lost her 3 year old son due to a brain tumor. He passed away a couple of weeks ago. I have been keeping up with the progress of this little boy since last Christmas when our church delivered some toys to him in the children's ward. The mother was nice enough to send us a letter thanking us, and had included a website in which she posted her sons progress. This family always relied upon God. Through every chemo treatment, surgery, and hospital visit, they laid it all in God's hands. I don't think I truly understood what it meant to love God and trust God no matter what, until I read the last entry she posted in her journal. I wanted to share it with you.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 01, 2008 07:44 PM, CDT
The arrangements for Nathan's funeral service and graveside service is as listed below:
1. Funeral Service at 6:00pm on 10/2/08 (Thursday) at Edwards Funeral Home located at 201 North 12 Street Fort Smith, AR 72902. Phone 479.782.8203. www.edwardsfuneralhome.com
2. Graveside service at 10:00am on 10/3/08 (Friday) at Fort Smith National Cemetary located at 6th and Garland Ave Fort Smith, AR 72901.
Note - Graveside services at the National Cemetary are very brief. Please plan on arriving no earlier than 9:45am with the graveside service starting promptly at 10:00am. By 10:30am the graveside service MUST be concluded.
Memorials may be sent to Addi's Faith Foundation. Addi is a precious child who also fought the fight against the same type of tumor that Nathan did. Her parents have established a foundation www.addisfaithfoundation.org.
Ph. 281-361-4730 • 5602 Palisade Falls, Kingwood, TX 77345





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TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2008 07:23 PM, CDT
PRAISE BE TO GOD! The angles in heaven are rejoicing, Nathan got to go HOME Monday at 10:00pm. At 10:01 he was running into the loving arms of JESUS. Thou my heart weeps, my soul is joyful because our strong, brave, sweet, warrior is no longer in pain, his new body is completely free of ANY illness or cancer. He is truly free. GOD was very merciful with Nathan, and with us. Nathan was surrounded by 2 dear friends, his mom, pops, and 3 brothers as he gently slipped in to the arms of JESUS. We were all able to say good by before he passed and remind him of how much love, joy, hope and happiness he has brought to so many. I told him he as done more for GODS glory in his almost 4 short years than some people do in a lifetime. There is a saying that "Everyman dies, but not every man really lives." Nathan really lived and loved and was (will always be) loved. One of the last words he spoke to me was "Here mama, your chocolate birthday cake." As he reached across to me with an empty, but yet very full, hand. It was the sweetest birthday cake I ever was given. Sunday morning he was telling his papa Knock-Knock jokes. He kept his good humor, and giving loving spirit to the end.

The events leading up to Monday are as follows. I believe I last told you that he had a surgery on Wednesday to move his shunt catheter from his abdomen to his pleura cavity. Well, when the surgeon made the small incision in his chest, fluid came rushing out – he had fluid in his chest that should not have been there, then when he pulled the catheter up from the abdomen fluid came rushing out thru the very very tiny hole. The surgeons took great care to close the hole to keep more fluid from invading his pleura space. Nathan seemed do well from the surgery. Thursday, however, brought problems anew. He started throwing up, his legs and feet were swelling, his heart rate was up and his oxygenation rate was down. They did a chest x-ray and ct scan of the head. These showed that there was more fluid surrounding the lungs, but the ct showed the shunt to be working great. We decided that for Nathans best interest we needed to move him to the ICU. Thursday night we started his first round of chemo. The thinking being that all the fluid in the abdomen was pushing up crowding his lungs as well as all the other organs, with the chemo killing the cancer cells lining the abdominal cavity the swelling should go down. They did continue to drain him every day, with some days hitting as high as 1000cc, with no noticeable difference. Friday, Nathan's pressures all looked soooo much better, he ate, talked, played, watched tv, and seemed to be doing so much better! Saturday, he slept a little more, but still was playful. Unfortunately Saturday night with the 3rd round of chemo "A" and the start of chemo "B", Nathan had an extreme reaction. It almost took his life that night. But GOD knew we need a little more time. Sunday morning was scary, thou he was doing better, he kept repeating memories he had for almost 5 hours. Then those stopped, he smiled and said "there's someone here" I told him I was there, but he said, 'no, mama, someone's here", then he would, eyes shut smile on his face, say "Ummm, that smells good." Or "Umm , that taste so good.", he also said "wow that sounds beautiful!" and he also asked "where are we going?" The room was unusually still. GOD sent HIS angles to Nathan. Then after about 30 mins he slept a very peaceful sleep for most of the night. We did no more chemo. Monday, it was obvious that Nathan was not going to last much longer. He had a reaction to receiving red blood. Dr. Wolff, our eternal optimist, was still giving very good hopeful ideas. We tried one, a steroid to the abdomen to help reduce swelling. We/they also gave him lots of pain med and a sedative. We were assured he was feeling NO pain. By 4 pm his breathing became so labored and his heart rate continued to soar so we called his brothers into the room, explained what was going on, and let them say their good-byes. At 10 pm he took his last breath, with all of surrounding his bed, praying, reading psalms and speaking words of love. "Will it be ok mama?" "Yes baby, it will be ok." "Because GOD is in CONTROL!", "yes, baby, because GOD IS IN CONTROL!"

Zach and Abby's Baptism