Prodigal Son

I think everyone has a time in their life
in which they have said or done something
they shouldn't have. Making a mends is one
of the hardest things I think any us can
ever do. I know it is for me, because I don't
like to admit that I'm wrong.

We are people of pride and honor, and
making a mends typically means someone has
to admit to making a mistake. What you should
realize is that when that person comes to you, and
comes to you before you go to them, they are
humbling themselves before you. They are the
ones that humbled themselves to come to you, and
take blame. Most likely it's not even all of their
fault or might not be their fault at all.

We should not make that hard for anyone to do.
I'm thankful that God doesn't make that hard for
me to do. I know that I'm guilty of making it
hard for someone else to do to me. Then I tend to
guard my heart a little closer, not truly trust
that person the way I used to.

Time and time again I have heard a
pastor say that we tend to think that God is
waiting there to strike us down with lightning
every time we do something wrong. What if God
guarded his heart the way I guard mine? He took
the punishment for my sins, and we can't accept
an apology and give people the chance to move
forward.

But he's not, he loves us with a love far greater
than any love we can imagine or even truly
feel ourselves. When you come to Christ, humbly,
and asking for forgiveness, I can only imagine the
overwhelming joy in his heart. We expect Christ
to do that for us, but we don't think we should
do it for anyone else.

I wonder how Christ feels when he sees someone
come before us with a humble, forgiving heart, and
we lay down guide lines for the way things are
going to work if we are going to forgive. Do you
think he looks at us and shakes his head, and says
the only guide lines I have for you is to love your
neighbor as you love yourself and love Jesus. I don't
think we would set guidelines for our self, the way
we set guidelines for other people.

Christ says all we have to do is believe in him, and
we will have eternal life. WOW! I think it's time
to quit setting guidelines, accept forgiveness,
and move forward in our relationships.For those
asking for forgiveness, once you have asked, you
are free from whatever is holding you down. Those
that choose not to forgive you, they will have
to answer to God.

Let the New Year be a year of forgiveness, whether
it be asking or granting. Let's love people the way
Christ loves us. We all screw up, we should
understand that if we want to be forgiven we have
to first forgive.

I hope you all have a Happy New Year.
I am blessed with so many great friends
and loved ones. I wish you all the best, and
thank you for your love and friendship.

Love Angie Duke

What has changed????

Whenever something tragic happens
I'm quick to examine my life.
What more could I have done?
What more could I have said?
It becomes an eye opener
of things you could do different.

Only thing is, that as time goes by
those same questions seem to fade.
And before you know it
A year has gone by
and nothing in your life has really changed.

The song called "Celebrate The Day"
says..and here is where your finding
me, in the exact same place as New Years Eve
and from the lack of my persistencey were
less than half as close as I wanna be.

So I'm reexamining my life once again.
New Years Eve is approaching,
we have lost family on January 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.
I don't want to find myself asking the
same old questions next year or when someone
else dies.

Are you exactly where you were a year ago?
Have you done anything in the last year
to reach out to someone else?
What have you done in the last year for Christ?
What can you do in the next year?

Sit down, and write it out....
Your goals for the next year.
Stick it some place you can look
at every single day.
So maybe next year we are more than
half as close as we want to be.

Make 2009 better than 2008.
Lets reach more people,
say what needs to be said,
do what needs to be done.
Lets feel as though we have
truly made a difference in someone's life.

The Silence

Silence....what an intense word. What lies within the silence? I was thinking today about a song by Caedmons Call called "Center Aisle". In this song it talks about someone who committed suicide. What was so bad in life, that someone would want to take their own life. What if the phone could have rang in the five minutes it took for someone to kill them self, or kill someone else. Maybe it's not even to that extreme, maybe in the five minutes it takes to make some really bad decisions, you wish you wouldn't have made, what if someone would have knocked on the door. How many of those things could we have diverted just by breaking the silence.
It's been almost a year since my friend died. I still question my silence. I knew he was sick that day, I wish I would have been more influential in his life. I wish I would have made him go to the doctor. But I didn't, I know it's not my fault, he was sick and maybe it was just his time to go. Did I truly show enough of the love of Christ to him? He was one messed up person, he was gay, he was addicted to pain pills. Did I really do enough? Maybe he would have never listened, I don't know. I know that I wasn't expecting him to die within an hour from which I saw him. My husband reminds me that there was nothing I could have done, but it reminds me that I don't know what lies within even 30 minutes time. Whatever you need to say, you need to say it now. Whatever you think God is telling you to do, you need to do it now.

At Wal-Mart we have this little thing we call the ten foot rule. Anyone within ten feet of you, you are suppose to greet and ask them if they need help with anything. This is to help to divert people from stealing. What if we practiced that ten foot rule in everyday life? You never know when it could help prevent people from making bad decisions. Shake a hand, give a smile, or "hey, is there anything I can help you with," might be the very thing that saves a life, or prevents someone from making one of those five minute bad decisions.

Do you have times when someone is around you, they are silent and their hearts seem heavy? You can tell that the weight of the world is on their shoulders, and instead of reaching out to them, we ignore what we see. It's time we break the silence, it's time we reach out to the broken hearted, it's time we open up our own hearts and quit being silent to everyone else. Quit wondering why you didn't get a second chance, use the chance God gave you. That second chance may never come.

Does Christ care more about TV's than you

I was listening to Rick Warren on C-Span today and was amazed at his simplicity and humbleness. He wrote a book called Purpose Driven Life, in which most of us probably own. It has sold more copies than any book ever, and is written in more languages than any book other than the bible. This book has made Rick Warren a wealthy man. However, he chooses to live in the same house he has lived in for 16 years, he chooses to wear a watch he bought at Wal-Mart, and he chooses to drive a 10 year old Ford Truck. He also chooses to no longer receive a salary from his church, and he paid back to his church 25 years of the salary they paid to him. As if that is not enough, he now tithes not 10 not 20 not even 30 percent, but he tithes 90 percent of what he makes and lives off of 10. Not to mention the charities that he has started to help other people. He reminds me a little of Rich Mullins, only Rich Mullins sold everything he owned.

Why did they do this? Because they did not want to be consumed by materialism. They did not want to take away from what they could give to someone else to further the work of Christ. Francis Chan is another great preacher that lives a very simple life. He to in reverse of the world, he chose to down size his house, and move into something smaller rather than something bigger. He chooses to only accept a salary of about $36,000 a year, from a church that takes in millions. Why, because every penny that he doesn't consume on useless things, helps further the work of Christ. Helps feed the hungry, and reach out to people in need.

What kind of life are you choosing to live. I admit I have chosen some pretty stupid things. I did not need to go out and eat at Chili's today. God has blessed my pantry to be full of food, how many people could I have fed just by choosing to not go out and eat. Some people choose to buy things far nicer than what they actually need to get the job done. How many lives are being neglected so we can have a $50 shirt from A & F, when you can get a shirt for $15 somewhere else. How much do you really need a $400 cell phone. It's real easy to waste money when the people that need it more than you need to look good, is not sitting right in your face. How many people are we stepping over, and over looking, so we can buy something that makes us look cool.

What if Christ overlooked you because he really wanted that 70 inch plasma TV. I guess that sounds pretty silly when you say it like that. Of course Christ would never care more for a TV or a Cell Phone, more than he cares for us. So why do we think he wants us to act any different? Food is food, when I was a kid we didn't eat at restaurants or even fast food for that matter. If we did, we did it maybe once a month. When we did do it, we appreciated it, unlike people today. Today eating out is normal. Some people even eat out every day of the week. I admit, I am guilty, but God has been speaking to me today. I need to change some things in my life. I need to spend less on stupid stuff, and give more to God. If you don't think you can do it, your wrong. You can do it, it's just about whether you choose to do it or not.

I want to be a Rich Mullins, I want to be a Francis Chan, I want to be more like Jesus. Don't YOU? It's time we shed the arrogance in our lives, and put on the armour of God. It's time to quit saying, I really wish I could do more, and just do more. It is easier for a humble man to win souls to Christ than an arrogant one. People watch you more than you think. What do you think they see when they watch you?

My Christmas Memory

The presents are unwrapped, everyone is playing with their new toys. But for me the joy of Christmas has nothing to do with presents. I have a big family. My parents are 2 among 23 brothers and sisters. You add their spouses, their kids, their kids kids, Christmas was a big family get together. Houses so packed you could hardly find a place to sit. We would sit on beds, floors, couches and chairs, front porch, anywhere there was an available space was filled by someone. Christmas at my grandparents was never about getting presents. If you did get anything it was a pair of socks out of a big package of socks, or underwear that also came from a big package that my grandma tried to distribute amongst all of the grand kids. Shopping for 30 grand kids, even just buying socks and underwear can get pretty expensive. My grandma always tried to get us a little something. That's probably wear my big heart comes from. But the presents did not matter. It was all of the time we spent with our family. As a kid, being able to be around 60 other kids, was awesome. Of course they were not all kids. Some of my cousins are old enough to be my parents. My parents are the baby's of the big family's, so that makes us the baby's of the cousins.
Anyway, all of my grandparents have passed away, and those big family get togethers do not exist anymore. But every Christmas Eve we go to my parents house, and Matt's mom joins us as well. For many years it is tradition that all of the kids sit in the floor, and my dad sits in his big recliner and gets out the big bible. This bible he received when his mother passed away, its one of those big hard cover Bible's with a big picture of Jesus on the inside. He reads the story of the birth of Jesus. We are not allowed to touch the presents without sitting and listening to him read the story first. I have photo after photo, from year to year, the kids have grown in size and in number. I sat and watched my 16 year old nephew, the oldest of the kids, find his normal spot in the floor so he could hear his papa read the Christmas Story. This year, eleven kids sat in the floor, all from the ages of 3 months to 16 years. I told my husband that I never tire of seeing all of those kids sitting at my dad's feet while he talks to them about Jesus. I hope that it is something that they carry in their hearts forever.
I didn't even want to leave last night. I miss being surrounded by the big family. The hugs, the I love yous, and just hanging out together. I cherished every single minute of it. I am very thankful that God has blessed us with so many family members all around us. I pray that everyone cherishes the time they spend with their loved ones. Maybe we should make everyday a little more like Christmas.

Thank God for a Wonderful Day

My dad's test came back normal. Praise God. I am so relieved that all is well. Matt and I have had some financial answers to prayer to. However I am most thankful for my daddy's health above all. I know my friends did not know it last night, but I had so much weighing on my mind. I had been stressed all day, and thinking about everything my friends had been going through with their parents. It was nice to have fellowship with the ladies at church last night. It really helped ease my mind, and help brighten an otherwise yucky Monday. I don't know what people do without a church family. I don't know how people cope without a relationship with Christ. I am thankful for a praying husband, I am thankful for praying friends. My husband prayed with me last night, today I went to work and went to my friend Anna and asked her to pray with me. I said, "where do you want to go to pray, we need to pray over my dad's test." She replied as an assistant manager was in our midst, "right here, and right now." We said a short prayer, we cried, and we thanked God for giving us friends at work that we can go to at anytime. God is way more awesome than I deserve. My husband is way more awesome than I deserve. I just want to savour what God has done for us today. I don't want to take forgranted another day God has given me with my family, another day to reach out to someone else. I ask you to first think of everything you are most thankful for right now, even if life truly sucks, there is something to be thankful for. The air in your lungs, the clothes on your back, the love of friends, food in your tummy, noises of children playing around you. You still have life, as long as there is air in your lungs, you still have a life worth living. Don't take it forgranted. Just because my dad's colonoscopy came back normal, doesn't mean he couldn't die in a car crash tomorrow. So even though I'm relieved of one thing, doesn't mean it's time to sit back and relax. It's time to enjoy every day I have with him, my mom, and my family. It's time to step up and be things to people that no one else has ever been to them before. I can't prevent people from doing stupid things, but I can prevent myself from doing the same stupid things other people do. I need to become all things to all people. I may need to be daddy to someone who's daddy doesn't seem to give a crap about their kids. I may need to teach someone what love really is, after they have spent a lifetime being abused. I'm not going to let lives fall down around me. I want to show them the love of Christ.

Heavy Heart

My heart is so heavy today. My friend lost her daddy last night, another friend is dealing with a serious illness of her mom, another friend lost her mom last week, and my heart is heavy for all of them. My dad goes for a colonoscopy tomorrow morning. I know everyone is telling me all is going to be OK, but my daddy's brother and sister died of colon cancer just a few years ago. I am a daddy's girl. I can talk to him, I know he prays for me, he is everything a daddy should be, and more. I have been begging him since the death of his brother and sister to have this done, and he his finally taking that step. I know sometimes it seems like if we don't get tested, then there is nothing to test for and all is well in the world. But for me, I have worried about my daddy for the last 3 years. So I know as my heart is heavy for him, I can't imagine what life would be without him. I know he won't always be here, but at least I have comfort of knowing that he is covered in the blood of Jesus. I remember the day my daddy accepted Christ into his life. It will forever be the best memory of all. We were saved and baptized together. To my friends, I love you all very much. I know your hearts are heavy, and some how and in some way, we will get through this life together. That is what is awesome about having brothers and sister in Christ. We are here to love each other and support each other no matter what. I love each of you, and I am so sorry that you guys have had to endure such hurt. Know that we are here for each other, and that is why we live life together. I feel like I have babbled, I'm sorry. Pray for Cindy's mom "Sue Earls", pray for Darylann and her family during the loss of her father, and pray for Ann in the loss of her mom, and please pray that my dad's test results will come out OK.

God is In Control

Do you truly know what it means to say God is in control? Below is a journal entry from a mother in Ft Smith, Ar who lost her 3 year old son due to a brain tumor. He passed away a couple of weeks ago. I have been keeping up with the progress of this little boy since last Christmas when our church delivered some toys to him in the children's ward. The mother was nice enough to send us a letter thanking us, and had included a website in which she posted her sons progress. This family always relied upon God. Through every chemo treatment, surgery, and hospital visit, they laid it all in God's hands. I don't think I truly understood what it meant to love God and trust God no matter what, until I read the last entry she posted in her journal. I wanted to share it with you.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 01, 2008 07:44 PM, CDT
The arrangements for Nathan's funeral service and graveside service is as listed below:
1. Funeral Service at 6:00pm on 10/2/08 (Thursday) at Edwards Funeral Home located at 201 North 12 Street Fort Smith, AR 72902. Phone 479.782.8203. www.edwardsfuneralhome.com
2. Graveside service at 10:00am on 10/3/08 (Friday) at Fort Smith National Cemetary located at 6th and Garland Ave Fort Smith, AR 72901.
Note - Graveside services at the National Cemetary are very brief. Please plan on arriving no earlier than 9:45am with the graveside service starting promptly at 10:00am. By 10:30am the graveside service MUST be concluded.
Memorials may be sent to Addi's Faith Foundation. Addi is a precious child who also fought the fight against the same type of tumor that Nathan did. Her parents have established a foundation www.addisfaithfoundation.org.
Ph. 281-361-4730 • 5602 Palisade Falls, Kingwood, TX 77345





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2008 07:23 PM, CDT
PRAISE BE TO GOD! The angles in heaven are rejoicing, Nathan got to go HOME Monday at 10:00pm. At 10:01 he was running into the loving arms of JESUS. Thou my heart weeps, my soul is joyful because our strong, brave, sweet, warrior is no longer in pain, his new body is completely free of ANY illness or cancer. He is truly free. GOD was very merciful with Nathan, and with us. Nathan was surrounded by 2 dear friends, his mom, pops, and 3 brothers as he gently slipped in to the arms of JESUS. We were all able to say good by before he passed and remind him of how much love, joy, hope and happiness he has brought to so many. I told him he as done more for GODS glory in his almost 4 short years than some people do in a lifetime. There is a saying that "Everyman dies, but not every man really lives." Nathan really lived and loved and was (will always be) loved. One of the last words he spoke to me was "Here mama, your chocolate birthday cake." As he reached across to me with an empty, but yet very full, hand. It was the sweetest birthday cake I ever was given. Sunday morning he was telling his papa Knock-Knock jokes. He kept his good humor, and giving loving spirit to the end.

The events leading up to Monday are as follows. I believe I last told you that he had a surgery on Wednesday to move his shunt catheter from his abdomen to his pleura cavity. Well, when the surgeon made the small incision in his chest, fluid came rushing out – he had fluid in his chest that should not have been there, then when he pulled the catheter up from the abdomen fluid came rushing out thru the very very tiny hole. The surgeons took great care to close the hole to keep more fluid from invading his pleura space. Nathan seemed do well from the surgery. Thursday, however, brought problems anew. He started throwing up, his legs and feet were swelling, his heart rate was up and his oxygenation rate was down. They did a chest x-ray and ct scan of the head. These showed that there was more fluid surrounding the lungs, but the ct showed the shunt to be working great. We decided that for Nathans best interest we needed to move him to the ICU. Thursday night we started his first round of chemo. The thinking being that all the fluid in the abdomen was pushing up crowding his lungs as well as all the other organs, with the chemo killing the cancer cells lining the abdominal cavity the swelling should go down. They did continue to drain him every day, with some days hitting as high as 1000cc, with no noticeable difference. Friday, Nathan's pressures all looked soooo much better, he ate, talked, played, watched tv, and seemed to be doing so much better! Saturday, he slept a little more, but still was playful. Unfortunately Saturday night with the 3rd round of chemo "A" and the start of chemo "B", Nathan had an extreme reaction. It almost took his life that night. But GOD knew we need a little more time. Sunday morning was scary, thou he was doing better, he kept repeating memories he had for almost 5 hours. Then those stopped, he smiled and said "there's someone here" I told him I was there, but he said, 'no, mama, someone's here", then he would, eyes shut smile on his face, say "Ummm, that smells good." Or "Umm , that taste so good.", he also said "wow that sounds beautiful!" and he also asked "where are we going?" The room was unusually still. GOD sent HIS angles to Nathan. Then after about 30 mins he slept a very peaceful sleep for most of the night. We did no more chemo. Monday, it was obvious that Nathan was not going to last much longer. He had a reaction to receiving red blood. Dr. Wolff, our eternal optimist, was still giving very good hopeful ideas. We tried one, a steroid to the abdomen to help reduce swelling. We/they also gave him lots of pain med and a sedative. We were assured he was feeling NO pain. By 4 pm his breathing became so labored and his heart rate continued to soar so we called his brothers into the room, explained what was going on, and let them say their good-byes. At 10 pm he took his last breath, with all of surrounding his bed, praying, reading psalms and speaking words of love. "Will it be ok mama?" "Yes baby, it will be ok." "Because GOD is in CONTROL!", "yes, baby, because GOD IS IN CONTROL!"

To Hell or Not To Hell

With a title like that, you know have to stop and read it. I was faced with a question the other day, not one that you expect to be hit with the second you get to work, but still the question arose. Let me explain what brought about this question, a fellow co-worker lost her daddy this past week. He was dying of cancer, depressed, probably scared for himself, the agony of cancer, and the agony of his family watching him go through cancer. That is such a big load to carry. I have not experienced cancer, but I have family members that have died from cancer, and I have a little understanding of what they must go through. The chemo, that helps prolong your life, often makes you sick, week,hard to get out of bad in the morning. And that isn't a guarantee, that's let's try this and see what it does. My friend's father decided to take his life into his own hands, and now she is faced with the question, can my daddy have gone to heaven if he killed himself? I was raised Assembly of God, and in the AOG beliefs they believe that you can fall away from God's grace, and that you must repent of your sin before you go to heaven. I spent a good deal of my life scared that if I had told a lie or gossiped and did not have the chance to repent, that I was not saved. I struggled with this as I was growing up, it just didn't seem right to me. I can't tell you how many times I have rededicated my life to Christ, probably more times than I can count. My husband and I recently changed denomination, not because we were against AOG, but because we felt God was leading us to a different church. That church just happened to be Baptist. I am not knocking AOG, a lot of my family is AOG, and they are wonderful christian people, We do not always agree on things, and that's OK, I believe we are still covered by God's grace. I love all of my brothers and sisters in Christ, no matter what denomination. As my husband and I began to search for biblical truth, and not for religious beliefs, many things became clear to us. 2 years ago I would have said this poor man went to hell. But I no longer believe that, that is if he truly accepted Christ into his life and believed that Jesus died for our sins. I suppose you are waiting to hear what my answer was to her, my answer was actually a question. What if a man is obese, and the doctor tells him he must change his diet or else he will have a heart attack and die, this christian man chooses not to change his diet and dies? Where do you feel this man goes? Ultimately he committed suicide, he knew he would die if he did not change his diet, he chose not to, and died. He took his life in his own hands. Question number 2, What if a christian woman has breast cancer, the doctor says that if she goes through chemo, surgery, and radiation, she has a chance of surviving, and she chooses not to go through the procedures and over a period of time she slowly dies. Does she go to heaven? If she opted out of trying to save her life, would that not count as suicide and does she go to heaven. Just because she wants to live what life she has left, as normal as possible, without the sickness from chemo, and spending hours in a doctors office, ultimately she took her own life into her own hands. I choose to believe that God's grace is far greater than any sin I could ever commit. I no longer live in fear of going to hell, of course that does not mean we do not have to suffer the consequences of our actions. The unfortunate consequence to this mans actions, is that he is not alive, and his kids are faced with an even deeper grief. Feel free to comment. I know it's a big topic to take in. I pray that my friend can find God's comfort within. She is so sad, and so heart broken. Please remember her in your prayers.

Forgiveness

God has taught me so much this week. One of those things is the importance of reconciliation. If you don't believe that true unity starts with reconciliation, let me tell you that you are wrong. In Matt 10:18, it tells us that if we have a problem with someone that you should go to them, and hopefully when you are done you will gain a brother. How true that is. If two people can go to each other, and humbly before God try to fix whatever is between them, you can come out so much stronger than when you started. Just knowing that you can basically lay your heart on the table, and pray together and love one another,is such an amazing feeling. We are all human, and we are all going to have that instance in our life in which we are going to have to correct something we did. I encourage you not to wait. I encourage you to first pray and get in God's word, and then to come together and find unity. Please don't let it go, don't let conflict overtake your life. I promise, you will leave with a feeling that a ton of bricks have been lifted from your shoulder's. Don't think that you can walk in with your pride shining bright, you must humble yourself before God and each other, accepting responsibility, and wanting even desiring to leave with a friend. A friend that you worship with, a friend that you can love, a friend that will love you no matter how stupid you feel sometimes. My son has had a problem fitting in with a few kids, he sometimes feels left out and feeling like other kids don't want to play with him. We talk about it quite often, as a mom it really hurts me, but my son tells me this, he says "mom, sometimes my friends say things that hurt me, but that doesn't mean they are not my friends, I don't know how to make them like me anymore , but to me they are still my buddy's." I cry every time I think about those words, I have seen these kids be mean to him time and time again, but to him they are still his buddy's. Some time's I don't think I deserve the friendships of some people, but I'm thankful for friends with a forgiving heart. I love them very much, and I am very blessed to call them my friends.

Angie's Ramblings....

I don't even have a good title for this one. Sometimes you are faced with things in life. Things that have the potential of being something that could totally turn your world upside down, or they could turn out to be nothing. I have a friend that found a lump on her breast a week or so ago. Having to wait, wonder, and worry, until you can find out exactly what it is, can be torturous. It is hard to think, hard to sleep, even hard to work. Prayer suddenly becomes more important than it ever has before. It no longer becomes something you have to make time for, or something you forget about doing, it becomes the number one resource in your life to make it through your day. Other things don't seem as important as they used to, like being able to watch your favorite TV show, or the big mess the kids just made in the kitchen. It is a time of What IF???? In her case, the what if turned out to be nothing. PRAISE GOD!!! Another friend at work, who just finished Chemo, found another lump on her breast, once again, all of the above begins to settle in all over again. She had surgery yesterday, and found out, the lump was merely scar tissue. PRAISE GOD, again. I can't imagine the fear she must of felt wondering if it had come back that quick, and if it had, what that meant for her life. I know that as we face that potential, you really learn what it means to trust God. You truly understand, the importance of prayer, and the strength you need in Christ to help you through life. I know that whatever life throws our way, that as Jesus told Joshua, to Be Bold and Be Courageous, and he also told him that he would never leave him nor forsake him. There is one thing that always remains constant, and that is the word of God. Keep us in prayer, and if you have any prayer requests, please leave them for me, so I can be praying for you.
Love In Christ.
Angie

Impressionable

I was on my way to work today,listening to my favorite song by Jennifer Knapp. It is called "Hold Me Now"........
From glass alabaster she poured out the depth of her soul
O foot of Christ would you wait if her harlotries known?
Falls a tear to darken the dirt
Of humblest offerings to forgive the hurt
She is strong enough to stand in your love
I can hear her say....

I'm weak
I'm poor
I'm broken, Lord
But I'm your's
Hold me now, hold me now

Let he without sin cast the first stone if you will
To say that my bride isn't worth half the blood that I'vespilled
Point your finger and laugh if you choose
To say my beloved is borrowed and used
She is strong enough to stand in My love
I can hear her say....

I'm weak
I'm poor
I'm broken, Lord
But I'm your's
Hold me now, hold me now

The words of this song make me realize what it truly means to have the love of Christ. There is a friend of ours that does not want to go to church because she feels that the church pretty much ousted her when she was at her lowest. Who are we to make someone feel as though they are not worthy of the love of Christ. I thought our job as a christ follower is to lift them up, and show them the love of Christ, no matter what they are going through, no matter what kind of sin has filled their life. I began to look back on my own life, and you can even think back on yours,at what times in your life were the biggest impressions left?
I know that in my life, I can think of a few different occaisions. One was the death of Matt's father. Two life long impressions were made on us that day. One was a good impression, left by our very close friends Ryan and Christy who came to the funeral that day and then came to my father-in-laws house and sat with us for many hours. Just the mere presence of our friends was more than enough to bring us comfort that day, at least as much comfort as one could feel after losing their father. The second impression made that day, was not good. Matt and I had been a part of a church family for several years, we were involved in church, worked in the church and never missed. But it lacked the love. No food was brought to our house, no phone calls were made to check on Matt. We felt very alone. In the year to come, depression got worse, and no one was there to reach out to us. Eventually we completely quit going to church. Another time in my life was when I found a lump on my breast, the pastor's family completely understood what a family goes through when this occurs, because his wife had been battling breast cancer. I was worried, and scared, but once again, felt alone in the church. It hurt me in a big way.
What impressions are we leaving on those that are hurting, what impressions are we leaving on people that are deep in sin and they are trying to find their way out of it but fall back in because we as Christ Followers turn our noses to them. It doesn't matter what sin, our job is to show them the blood of Christ cover's that sin, no matter how deep we are into that sin and no matter how bad you think that sin is. It is time that we as christ followers quit pointing fingers, and remembering that sometimes our mere presence is a beginning to showing the love of Christ to other's. Don't turn up your nose, but wrap your arms around people, and let them feel the love of Christ that they may have never felt before. When people are deep in sin, down on their luck, and feeling low, that is when we as Christ followers can make the biggest impressions on their lives.

We are blessed

I just want to thank God for being the awesome God that he is. He has given me a great family, a great group of friends that pray for me and give me moral support, he sends little blessings along the way. Little blessings are great, aren't they! It's almost like God is standing right next to you, giving you that little pat on the back, and showing his love to us. Some one gave us one of those special little blessings on Sunday. I know to her it may not have seemed like much, but to us it meant more than she will ever know.
I want to also thank God for the group of kids we had in Children's Church on Sunday morning. Wow, the kids really stepped up and witnessed to their friends last week and we had a total of 50 kids in children's church and 8 more in the nursery. That was amazing, and one kid received Christ into their life. Whatever we do to reach souls for Christ, is worth it. Even if it is one out of 50, we will never know how many lives that one life will touch in their lifetime.
I want to say that our church is truly blessed to have such an awesome group of people. Everyone pulled together and put forth a great youth rally. From cooking meals, security, counseling, supplies that were brought, greeters, I can go and on, but it took each and every person to make it happen. I think I heard that 13 kids were saved last week. That is awesome. That is what being a church family is all about, working together to help each other and reaching out to our community to win souls for Christ. Every role was important, and everything everyone did was such a blessing.
Our church is so blessed to have a youth pastor that has such a great heart for those kids. I truly watched BJ pour his heart into that rally, wanting to see God change their lives, and seeing his heart break with the lives of the kids that were totally messed up. It truly touched my heart, to see someone truly pouring their heart out to each of those kids.
I am thankful for being able to hang out with friends this week, fellowship with other believers is what gets me through my week. We have so many great friends, and brothers and sisters in Christ. I am thankful for having a friend that I can talk to and knowing they are there to listen to me and pray for me, and that I can do the same for them. God has blessed us with good friends and family.
I am thankful for a husband that cares for me so deeply. I love him more than anything. He is my best friend, the person who holds me when I have had a bad day, my accountability partner, making sure I have my daily dose of prayer and reading, he is my partner in life, a wonderful Dad, a faithful loving husband, and he holds fast to God's word. We truly balance each other out. I don't know what I would do if I did not have him in my life. I am thankful for every single minute of everyday we have together.
What are you thankful for? What little blessings has God guided your way this week? What scripture has guided you through your day. For me it has been Joshua chapters 1 through 4. I hope you have a blessed week.
God Bless

So my last blog was obviously more for me than I thought

I had a crappy day at work. I didn't think it was crappy, until about 5 minutes before I went home. I don't know how to please my bosses. I try really hard, I work really hard, and it seems like they always find something to gripe about. I called and talked to my friend Anna and told her the latest, and I was crying and my feelings were hurt. I know the devil is just coming against me. She said she would pray for me, she did not understand why they even had a problem with what we discussed. She just couldn't believe it. My store manager has some obvious dislike towards me, and I can't do anything to make it right. Anna and Paula both see that, and they promised to pray for me and ask for God's direction. So I am little beat down today, I just feel like crying. I know it won't do any good, but it's how I feel. My husband and I have talked about me getting a different job, because this one is just completely wearing me down. But we can't do that unless something of equal pay were to come along.
To get back to my blog from last night, I went to pick up my kids at my parent's house. I told Abby to get her shoes on, she was busy eating Papa's stew, I went to pick up shoes and inside the shoes laid these stones. Not just one, but 8 stones in the bottom of her shoes. I couldn't help but smile, as my blog came to mind. When I saw the stones, I immediately was reminded that the hands of my Lord are Mighty. So I know that I sit here completely beat down, and crying, that God was speaking to me. How funny it is that he chose to speak to me through some stones in my daughters shoes. But I am thankful that when I am weak, he makes his presence known to me. I don't know if I am suppose to buck up and take it, and maybe something will change at work, or if I am to look for another job. Whatever it is, please pray that I will know what to do.
Have a blessed day.
Love In Christ
Angie Duke

12 STONES

This is for my friend, and you know who you are. I know that her and I both need a little lift in spirits, and faith right now. I was doing my daily study, I have been reading Joshua. God was speaking to Joshua in chapter 1, Moses has died and basically he has given the reigns to Joshua. In this chapter God tells Joshua that every place that the sole of his feet will tread he has given to him. He continues to tell Joshua He will be with him, he will not leave him or forsake him. Even though he tells him that he is with him, he is giving him comfort and goes on to say to him, "Be Strong and Be Courageous." I was thinking on this passage and thinking of your journey, or even my journey. It's scary to go through my husband changing jobs, it was scary going through the fact that he gave up his second job for the ministry, but God gave it to us. God gave Matt a position in the ministry, God gave Matt this new job he is about to take on, and God sent my friends to an unfamiliar place full of unfamiliar people so they could spread God's word. Is it OK to be a little scared, I would have to say that maybe Joshua was scared or at least God must have thought he would have reason to be weak and be scared, or else he would not have had to proclaim the words "Be strong, and be courageous." Isn't it funny, we trust in God, we believe he has sent us where we are, yet we get right in the middle of everything God has sent us to and we start to doubt and get scared. God can be standing in front of us with a big flashing sign that says, " Hey dummy, I told you I would take care of it " and we would probably still doubt and lack faith sometimes.

So that brings me to the chapters I studied tonight, which is Joshua 3 and 4. Where God dried up the waters of the river Jordan until they passed over it. They took the 12 stones from the river Jordan and Joshua set them up in Gilgal. Why did he do this? This is the part I want you to pay close attention to.......He did this so that all the people of the earth may know that

the hand of the Lord is mighty

, that you fear the Lord your God forever.

So, first you should remember that God has given you everything that you have and that he will never leave you nor forsake you. I know that you are on unfamiliar ground, it may be unfamiliar to you but God created all of it and he is going to lead you through it. He is a mighty God, whatever bridges need to be crossed, he will make a way. If he can dry a river so people can walk through it, he will give you common ground with those you need to reach and with those who will reach out to you. So I ask you to remember when things start to get rough, and it seems greater than what you can handle, think of the 12 stones that lay as a reminder that the hands of our God is Mighty. Be Courageous and Be Strong. What an honor it must have been for Joshua to take over where Moses left off. What an honor it is to be used by God.

Hang tight to those words when things seem a little rough, 12 STONES. Don't allow the devil to bring fear, and discouragement into your life. Be Courageous and Be Strong and know that the hands of God are guiding you.

Fuel Baptism 08/03/08

What an honor to see my kids be baptized, and to watch my husband baptize our children. God is awesome

Fuel Baptism 08/03/08

This is a most blessed day for our family, as well as the family of Rae and Billy.

The journey of life.......

Jerry,
I know you are reading this, Matt and I were most blessed today to see our kids baptized. Not only did we get to see it, but Matt was able to do the baptism. I received a text this afternoon that your wife was ill. Then another text that it is all in God's hands now. Truth is, it has always been in God's hands. He will take care of you, and your needs. His hands are with Doris right now. I know your heart is heavy, but I know your faith in God is strong. I see my kids, they are young and just beginning their walk with Christ. Then I see you and Doris, what a life you guys have had in Christ. You both welcomed us into your home, we talked about God, we talked about life, and we felt as though we had known you forever. What a blessing it was to have 2 people show us such love, and a feeling of being welcomed into your life. Whether our lives are just beginning, or whether or not today is our last day, whatever time we have lived for Christ is worth it all. I don't really like the saying that all we can do now is pray. Sometimes it feels like prayer is the last resort, but it's not. It should be our first thought, an ever deepening faith in what Christ can do. All within his will of course. I don't know what God's will for Doris, but we are going to keep praying and believing for God's touch in her life and in yours. Either way, she is one lucky woman. She has a wonderful husband who loves her dearly, and she has a heavenly father who loves her dearly. One way or another, you both will get to live with her forever. Our prayers are with you. Whoever is reading this, please pray for Doris and Jerry.

My kids Baptism

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5l4879Fbyk

For those who may be questioning my last blog, Matt and I have no plans of leaving. But I am going to say that I no longer want to place a brick wall before God. Up until now, the very thought of doing anything outside of my comfort zone was non existant. God has placed us in Fuel Church. Being where we are is something that my husband spent much time in prayer about, and felt with all of his heart that God was leading us to be a part of Fuel Church. I stand amazed at the work that God has began within this church. My prayer is not how to get people into Fuel Church, but how can we get Fuel Church out to the people. The people stepping in the Fuel Church doors are people that have already accepted Christ in their life, at least for the most part.
We have to realize our job is not to see how many people can get saved on Sunday morning. Sunday morning is a time for believers to come together, to fellowship together, and to give glory to God. The rest of the week is our work zone. We should be reaching the unreached, so that they too can come and be a part of our body of believers.
Have you looked around church lately. Not just our church, but any church. How many people are sitting there with very ragged, torn clothes? Not many, and do you know why? Because most people think that they cannot enter the church door's unless they look a certain way, or smell a certain way. I remember going to some one's house, it's been about a year ago. I remember the response the lady gave when she was invited to come to church. She said, "I don't have anything I can wear." Why do people think they need a new wardrobe to go to church? Probably because the church is NOT showing the love of Christ to those people.
Stepping out of your comfort zone, is so much more than just being willing to move if God asked you to. It is being willing to step into a house that may be crawling with roaches, so you can show the love of Christ to someone else. It is the willingness to then invite those same people to your house for dinner, and make them feel just as comfortable as everyone else you invite to dinner. So when I say that in the next year I want to step out of my comfort zone, I want to be willing to do whatever God wants me to do in whatever environment he wants me to do it in.
I can tell you right now, most people reading this are sitting in their nice air conditioned room, TV is probably on in the background. Someone is probably snacking on something, your fridge is somewhat full of food, at least you won't be doing without in the next day or two. Your life is more comfortable than so many people that live within 10 to 20 miles of your front door. Step out of the comfort zone, find out how to help someone else. Open up your home, to a small group. The bible tells us to have a banquet and invite the poor and the needy. Who have you invited to your home group? God is tired of the excuses, he knows your heart and he knows when you are flat out just being lazy and want everyone else to step up so you don't have to.

What if God asked you..........

What if God asked you to drop everything and move? Change everything you know and are familiar with to follow God's will. Only a few would say yes. Matt and I have had that same discussion this week. I wish we were financially stable enough to go to Massachusetts's with Ryan and Christy, is what he said. My stomach turned a few times, because I love being around my family. They are good to my kids, they are always there if we need them, we are always there for them if they need us. We are 8 years into a 30 year mortgage, and well on our way to owning our house. I know it's not a big house, but it is our house and almost 1/3 of the way into owning it. I kept asking myself could I really make that sacrifice? Would I truly be able to pack up everything, and move hours away from a place I have lived in for 34 years? I find myself truly thinking about this.
Here is the kicker, I had just finished reading a chapter in Francis Chan's book, asking that very same question. How deep is your love for Christ? Going to church or reading your bible should not be a chore. Helping people in need should not be a chore. The bible explains that what you do for someone, even if you give them a drink of water, it is like you are reaching out and giving a drink to Christ. How many times have we looked Christ in the face, and turned our heads, unwilling to share what we own, unwilling to feed the hungry, unwilling to move if God asked you to do so. How much do you truly love Christ? Anyway, that evening, my husband asked if I had read Ryan's blog. I said no, I will read it right now. Ryan's dream life would be that Matt and I would serve with them in the ministry, along with a long list of friends. You can read his blog if you like (mercyhouseryan). How crazy is that, I just read the book a few hours before, now there is a blog mentioning what life would be like if we are in Massachussete's with Ryan and Christy.
I found myself at a stand still. I think I love Christ with all of my heart, but would I be able to show my love for him by moving if he asked me to? It truly humbled me to stop and think about all that I had just taken in. I know lately I have been thinking about that very idea. My problem is that I am so set on God using me right here, so that I can be comfortable, in my nice comfortable home, around all of the comforts of family and friends, around everything that I am familiar with. Where is my faith? I don't believe that it is something I need as much in my very familiar surroundings.
Our friends Ryan and Christy, wow, what love you have for Christ? For so many years I thought you were running from life, but instead you are embracing your love for Christ. Your willingness to go where comfort is not, it blessed my heart. I admire the depth of your love for Christ. I admire your willingness to follow God's will, no matter how far it takes you, no matter what obstacles stand in your way. I have such a great understanding of what you guys do, and pray that I too will be more open to God's will in my life. I never realized what a brick wall I had set before God. My desire is to open all doors before Christ, to be willing to follow his will at all costs.
Our prayers are with our friends as they journey to Massachusetts's. Be in prayer, they need to sell their house in Virginia very quickly. Also pray, that any brick walls you have set before God will fall. How will you express your love for Christ this year, or even this week?

Strip away your pride and die to yourself......

I too have been reading the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. There is so much to absorb. I have just completed chapter 2, and I just want to dig deeper in. You can go to this website (http://crazylovebook.com/) to find out more about this book. There is a video that goes with every chapter of the book.
I just want to say, where is our humbleness? How much do we truly care about other people or reaching people for Christ. I sat down with my kids last night and asked them this question, what have you done to help someone else today? Not that I want them to brag or be prideful, but I want to change their way of thinking. Tonight when I ask them this same question, they will probably say they forgot. If continue to ask them and encourage them to be servants to other people, I hope that their stories about what they did for someone today will ever increase. We are only promised now, we are not promised tomorrow, we can't change yesterday, but I can focus on one day at time. If I ask them this question and I expect them to answer in a servant hearted manner, I need to be prepared to share my own stories. I need to be prepared to be a good example to my kids.
If someone came up to you right now and said, what can you do to help someone else, what would your answer be? Better yet, what if you were in neeed, and everyone else was more wrapped up in nice clothes, cable tv, new cars, and video games. What if your child was starving, and the people around you abounded in much and never took the time, or was willing to give up their luxieries to help you with the necessities. It's time to stop thinking you are something, and become nothing. God does not care about your social status. God does not care if you think you have finally arrived.
He does care if you shed your pride, God hates pride, and if it's in you, you need to get rid of it. Pride is having fancy phones, more of a house than what we need, expensive clothes, and just thinking that you are more important than anyone else. God does not care if you are the Pastor of 5000, or if you are a homeless guy on the side of the road. If you are not humble and seeking his will, and doing whatever you can do to change lives and show the love of Christ, then what is the purpose of what you are doing?
When are we as a church going to become all things to all people? When are we as Christ followers going to shed our pride and quit caring about being tired, and start focusing on meeting the needs of the people around us. Lazy people are my pet peeve. Every church has a list of things people can do, but too many people want to just sit in the pew. The church will never become all that God needs it to be, unless we get up off our behinds, and make it our home (as my dad would say).
We need more fuel cells. We cannot meet the needs of 150 people in five fuel cells. It doesn't matter who you are, but your goal should be to become disciples of Christ. So if you are going to fuel church, I pray that first you pray about whether or not fuel church is your home, if it is I pray that you join. If you are a member of fuel church, the first need you need to meet, is that of your family. They need to be in a fuel cell. This is the place where we truly become family and begin to meet the needs of each other. If you are a member and in a fuel cell, be in prayer about starting one at your home. If you can at least open up the doors to your home, we can have someone come and teach the class in your home until you are comfortable to do it on your own.
Like Ryan said on Sunday, it's time to start planning your life around a fuel cell. My husband and I both have a 40 hour a week work schedule, and we truly understand being tired. But being a part of a fuel cell or teaching a fuel cell, should not be a chore, it should a time of refreshing. A time to get together with other christ followers, who become a family to you. Being able to open up and have people open up to you. I miss people when they don't show up, we call each other in the middle of the week, we babysit for each other, we check on each other when things are going on in our lives. (being all things to all people) They are such an important part of our lives, and I am blessed to be able to share my life with these people. If you are teaching a fuel cell or you are thinking about teaching a fuel cell, and your schedule is pretty open, pick a night that best fits the people your fuel cell may attract. Be all things to all people. Josh's group has about 40 people on Sunday Nights. We have several people in our church that work nights in the week, or travel out of town for work and Sunday Night is the only night they can attend a fuel cell. Be in prayer for our fuel cells.
We love you all, and we are so blessed to have an awesome church family. You have stepped up in so many ways. I can't begin to tell you how much everything seen and unseen is appreciated, and you are touching lives in everything you do.
Have a blessed week.

This is for my friend....

Sometimes there are not enough words to comfort those who are hurting or to help someone find peace about the road they are about to follow. Sometimes life just sucks. This isn't new, it is life. As you read through the bible, time and time again there is hurt, sorrow, and death. But there is also, comfort, hope, peace, love,and vision. The first person I always think of is Job. I can't imagine losing everything I have and still being able to stand strong.

During a bible study a friend once stated, I don't know if I could still go to church if my wife was taken from me. I remember looking at him and saying, how could you not? I would never want to endure search a hurt, or loss in my life without Christ. I have close friends that lost a child in a car accident, it literally tore apart their family because they did not seek the comfort of Christ. If you have read my blogs, you know my Aunt lost her husband a few months ago. The hurt is deep and the pain is almost unbearable, but she gives glory to God for seeing her through each and every day.

Life is short, I don't care how old you are, Life is short. I just spent the week, on vacation with my family. We did not have money to take a nice vacation somewhere, with little cash in our pockets, we had the most wonderful time together. I caught myself staring my children, and my husband and a big smile would come across my face. I felt so blessed to have that time with them.

If you have lost someone, don't give up hope on yourself. Enjoy the family and friendships that surround you. If someone you know is hanging from a thread, don't give up hope and enjoy every second that God has given you with them. As my husband and I stood in a hospital room, we watched our friend Jerry as he stood beside his wife. His hand was holding tightly to hers, and he gently wiped the tears from both their faces. He continously told her over and over how much he loved her, and to hold on and keep fighting. As long as we have breath in our lungs their is hope. But if she was to die today, it would not be without knowing how much her husband truly loved her.

Jerry, I know you are reading this, one of my favorite verses is "To live is Christ, to die is gain." Your beautiful wife lived as Christ wanted her to live, and when she goes home to be with him, she has gained a home far more beautiful than you and I could ever imagine. But as long as she breathes, we will continue to believe that God can touch her. No matter what happens, remain close to Christ.

Cara, it has been a rough week for you, but look what God has shown you this week. Wow. You have come a long way from that little baby in a hospital. Could you have ever imagined having so many people that surround you and smother you with love. God is good. He will guide you through getting to know your sisters, and helping you with the loss of one.

Christy, the journey ahead is not easy. But God is going to bless you and your family. I am amazed at your faithfulness to follow Gods will at all cost. I admire you with all of my heart. It's OK to be scared, just know that God will provide all of your needs.

Matt, I just want to say, I love you more than anything. My time spent with you and the kids this week was simply amazing. I feel so blessed to have someone like you in my life. Someone who is humble, seeks God, and leads his family in the way they should go. You are an amazing person.

Fuel Setup Time Lapse

"WHAT! you drink coffee during church?"

My pastor is going to love this one. I was sitting in the break room today, having a discussion about our move to the civic center. I am really not sure how we got into the discussion, but the a comment was made, " I suppose you eat donuts during church as well." I said, "We do have crystal light, coffee, and nutrigrain bars, and the occaisional muffins." The person replied, "WHAT! you drink coffee during church?" I replied, "yes, is that a problem? Is there a scripture in the bible that states Thou Shalt Not Drink Coffee while the Pastor Preaches?" They laughed and said no, but drinking coffee during church just isn't right. Once again, I began to search for the reasoning behind his statement and of course demanded scripture to back that up. My pastor has taught me well, demand scripture reference to any unreasonable answer someone may give. Surprisingly enough, no scripture was quoted.

Next question that came about, I suppose you drink alcohol at church as well. I said we are not Catholic, Alcohol is not permitted during church or fuel cells.

Next question that came about, What is a Fuel Cell? Bible Study groups at home, I replied.

It simply amazed me how many questions came about from the

concerns

that we drink coffee during church. Our concerns should be whether or not Johnny and Sally have food in their cabinets, does that co-worker know Christ, not whether or not we drink coffee during church. It's not like we are smoking Marijuana and handling snakes. Gee Whiz.... :)

The problem with todays society is that we spend more time on crap like whether or not it is OK to drink a cup of coffee while the pastor preaches, and not enough time asking what can we do to win more souls for Christ. I say, if we can drink coffee and win souls for Christ at once, all the more better.

To my amazing church family....

I want to thank all of you for your concerns about me. I know more than one person this past week has asked if I am doing OK. I want to thank you for your love and concern. I know I have not been myself lately, and my poor husband surely knows I have not been myself lately, and I want to apologize.
Life has changed so much for us in the last 4 months. My husband is now a pastor, and taking on the role of being a pastor's wife is far greater than I thought. I am by no means complaining, because I am truly blessed to have a husband that is following God's will and working diligently to MAN UP, and do what God is calling him to do. Along with the new found commitments of a new church, and if you have read my blogs, you will know that some personal family things have come about, I think I have been emotionally tired and physically drained. But we are fully committed to this ministry and what ever role that God is calling us to take on in this ministry.
What I want to thank you all mostly for, is realizing that I needed your thoughts and prayers, and you have lifted me up without anyone asking you to do so. It is simply amazing to be in a church full of people that show so much care and concern for one another. You will never know how much every one of you mean to me. Yes I know that I still have not learned all of your names, but that makes it all the more meaningful to me, because even though I may not "yet" have your names down, your care for me is still the same. I feel your prayers, and I have felt completely uplifted today.
I was so amazed and blessed by everyone that showed up Saturday Night and stayed until 12:30 or 1 am to help set up and then got up and came to church and stayed to take everything back down. That is so awesome and totally what it means to MAN UP. There are so many roles that need to be filled, and as we grow and new ministry area's start to form, we will need even more worker's. I pray for each of you as grow strong in the Lord, that you seek his will and that you will fulfill your role.
I was just talking to a friend on the phone, and God has revealed so much to her and her husband this weekend. They are so excited about what God is showing them, and what their role will be in Fuel Church. I love the fire that God is placing in this home, and everything that he is restoring within them. I shared with her a story that I read in the bible about how something that needed to be rebuilt, and they chose some Godly people who were not quite living their Godly ways to do the rebuilding. Isn't that awesome, that God still has plans for you even when you are completely screwed up. That he can still share those plans with you, cradle you in his arms and say, OK, it's time to start doing things right again. The bible is full of imperfect people that God used often. To my friends, I want to say that I am so excited to see how you both have grown and that you can hear God speaking to you audibly. Be patient, and know that God will show you the time those things will happen in your family.
The song that inspired my husband while we were hanging out and not living the way God wanted us to, is "Move Along" by All American Rejects. It's time to forget about the past, and just get up and move forward. We can't erase the past, but we can start building a better future. I don't know about you, but the devil can have my past, and I want to lay my future in God's hands. I stand amazed everyday to see what God is doing in Fuel Church.
Everyday you wake up, you get a chance to witness to someone, you get a chance to love your kids, you get a chance to do something for the cause of Christ, you get another chance to show your spouse how much you love them. The only past we need to focus on, is the fact that Christ died on the cross to erase our sin. Grace is good. Gods grace is the most amazing thing ever. Quit letting the Devil tell you that you are not worthy, quit letting the Devil tell you that God can't use you. He used Noah to save every living creature on the earth, knowing that Noah was going to screw up when it was all over. He called his disciples, knowing that they would not all be faithful and committed to him. Why would you think he cannot use you?
Something my husband has been reminding me of all week, is the fact that you do not feel worthy, probably confirms the fact that you are the man for the job. Because if we ever felt worthy of anything Christ has for us, we would make it about ourselves and not about the cause of Christ. Christ loves you as much as your parents love you or you love your kids. Actually his love is far greater than that. I know that if my kids mess up, I still encourage them to get back up and do better.
I love all of you at Fuel Church, I appreciate every e-mail, text, phone call, fixing our car, inviting us over for dinner, watching our kids, fixing our bikes, and for all of your prayers and overall love you show to our family.
Ryan and Christy, you might as well be a part of Fuel Church, you totally have put forth so many prayers for our church and listened to my husband on a weekly basis. You guys are awesome and I know you both will never know how much your friendship means to us.
To my husband, I thank you for putting up with me, even when I'm moody and completely wrong. You are my Boaz. You love me and respect me more than anyone ever has in my entire life. I am so proud of you, and your commitment to our family and to this church. You truly live a life that our kids can mimic. Also, to our kids who sometimes must stay up late and wake up early while we are taking care of church things, they are awesome. I love them very much and theexcitement they have for church and the people in the church.

Parenting

When does a parent finally get to feel like they don't have to be a parent anymore? The answer to that question is "never". But there comes a time in all parents lives that we must let our kids spread their wings and fly. My son is only 8 and my daughter is 6, and I have already experienced times when I have had to say, "you are going to have to deal with this on your own. If I do it for you it is only going to make the problem worse, and you will not learn how to fight your own battles." Is it hard having to say that to your kid, of course it is. One of the most difficult things about being a parent is watching your kid suffer. But when you can see them stand up for themselves and fight back, while momma and daddy are doing some serious praying at home, it is the most amazing feeling in the world.
I believe in teaching my kids how to live a christian life, in a world that is going to hell. Yeah, I could shelter them and keep them tied up in my house for 18 years, but I feel that I would have done a huge disservice to my kids. I can't suddenly shove them into a world at the age of 18 that they have never been in. Will they have tempations and things thrown up in their face, of course they will. But that is where my job as a parent comes in.
I have to teach them what is right and wrong. I have to live the right, and throw out the wrong in my own life. So if I feel it is important to go to church every Sunday and read my bible and pray, I must make sure that my children are following my life examples. My kids are not allowed to stay the night at someone's house on Saturday Night, unless they are going to church on Sunday morning. One of the 10 commandments is to remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. We choose to honor the Sabbath on Sunday, and our kids will honor it with us. We can't let them think that anything else is OK.
We are the parents, we only have 18 years to teach our children how to live the rest of their lives. When they get married, they then belong to their spouse. I look at my son and realize that we have already gone through almost 9 of those 18 years. What have I done that teaches him to live for Christ? What things do I do that hinders him from living for Christ?
Are we faithful to Church, faithful to tithes, faithful to God, faithful to each other, faithful in reaching souls for Christ? Do you know the older your child gets, the harder it becomes to instill Christ in their lives. It kind of goes along with the saying, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I'm not saying that a person cannot get saved once they have reached adulthood, but if they have never been taught the love of Christ and what it means to live a christian life, the road to coming to Christ is going to be much harder.
A few last things to add, parents you have to quit bailing your kids out at sometime or another. Sometimes it is going to take some hard life lessons to get your kid on the right track. Sometimes a child has to touch that hot stove, before they realize why you are telling them not to touch it. Does that mean you don't love your kids, of course not. I love my kids with all of my heart. If kids think there are no consequences to their actions, they will probably continue their actions. I am not a firm believer in time out. Do I spank my kids all of the time, of course not. But if I feel that a spanking is what it takes to make them realize they cannot act out, then that's what it takes.

Its 1 a.m.

Matt and I were lying in bed, resting after a very relaxing day at home. The day was simply amazing. We started out by sleeping in, then we hung out in the living room eating lunch and watching TV. Matt worked in the yard, and I did some deep house cleaning while the kids played. Around 4:30 it was time for dinner, we warmed up left overs, and watched a movie called "Four Brothers", it's an awesome movie. We retired to the patio, for strawberry shortcake, yum yum, and a few games of Go Fish with the kids, after they played in the water. We played cards under the patio lights until 9:30. It was just a good day. Easy going, we enjoyed just hanging out. We didn't spend any money, not even on gas. We just hung out together enjoying life. At one point in the day, the kids were playing on the computer. Zach and Abby were sitting in the computer chair together. Matt was telling Abby he was going to throw her in the shower with her clothes on, we kept razzing her and finally we picked her and put her in the shower with her clothes on. Not wanting Zach to feel left out, we drug him to the shower as well. I know it was silly, but it made us all laugh. It was great fun.
Then we all went to bed. We know we will have a long day tomorrow, so we went to bed rather early. We apparently missed the 5 phone calls that were made on our cell phones, but they were followed up with our door bell ringing at 1 am. My heart dropped and I was so scared to answer that door. So scared that someone had died or hurt terribly bad. At that point and time I was too scared to cry, too scared to answer the door, but the door bell kept ringing. It was my dad, he told Matt to get his shoes on, he needed him to go with him. He still had not told us why, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know. Fortunately it had nothing to do with someone dying or being in the hospital. But it's really not much better.
It is going to be a long night. I am going to ask that you pray for this situation. I know that I didn't tell you what it is, but God knows what it is. Pray for my parents, because I know they are dealing with a lot of emotions right now, and they really don't deserve any of this. I am sitting here crying, it's now 2 am. I have been on the phone with Matt and my mom, trying to keep each other updated on the situation. My heart is heavy, and I wish I had the words to say that would make this better. But the truth is, this person needs God in their life. I'm afraid that until then, that this won't be the last time we go through this.
Here's to 1 am phone calls, and ringing door bells. May God touch the lives of anyone else who is receiving those very same things. Inevitably, it's not happening because of something good. I pray for peace amongst the lives of everyone who is receiving phone calls and ringing door bells in the middle of the night. I pray that God will begin to break the sin in people's lives, that he will break them down spiritually, emotionally, financially, or whatever it takes to get them to turn their lives around. How low must a person go, before they feel like they hit rock bottom and finally look up to see that God loves them?
I hope all of you had a much more peaceful sleep. God bless you all.

What does it take?

What does it take to win the Stanley Cup? According to the coach of the Redwings, after winning the first 2 out of seven games in the Stanley Cup Finals, he says that playing the game sometimes seems a bit redundant. You get out their week after week with the exact same goal of winning the game. You never feel as though you are so good that you do not have to practice. When I ask what it does it take to win the Stanley Cup finals,
1. Practice, everyday you must practice.
(In our Christian life we call this prayer and reading. Everyday you must read and pray, no matter how redundant it seems. These are the tools in which Christ has given us, and unless we use them daily, we will fail. Our marriages will fail, our church will fail, and you have just given the devil the ability to inch his way into your life and take over. The less you have of God in your life, the easier it is for the devil to come and take over. If the Redwings didn't practice everyday, do you think they would have taken home the Stanley Cup? This is the number one team in NHL and they know they must never feel they have it right. Never get to the point where you feel you have everything completely figured out. If you are trying to figure it out without prayer and reading your bible, the answers you are getting are not coming from God.)
2. You must strive to win
(What are your goals in your christian life? Some of you, right now are thinking, are we suppose to have goals? You should have goals in your christian life. Maybe it is a goal of reaching someone at work, or the person next door. Write down your vision for your church, where do you see it going, how do you see yourself getting involved in your church. If your answer is that you do not see yourself getting involved in your church, then you are not doing the first thing. I promise you, if you are praying and truly seeking God's will in your life, you will know that you must become a servant to the people. God is not going to tell you to sit on your rear and do nothing. God is first, and he is always first. If work, sports, going to the lake, your family, paying bills, is coming before God, then don't be surprised when that ton of bricks falls on your head. If your kid spends more time playing sports than they do in church, don't be surprised what becomes of their life. What you put into a life is what comes out of it. It's kind of like eating, I can feed myself with nothing but crappy food such as pizza, chocolate cake, fried chicken, gravy. It tastes good while I'm consuming it, but it makes me fat and unhealthy. If I eat baked fish, vegetables, and fruit, not only have I fulfilled my hunger but I have also made my body feel better. I have more energy, no high blood pressure, no high cholesterol. Those other foods are great, but they are slowly killing you. Start filling your life up with God and not worldly stuff. That person you witnessed to at work is going to heaven with you, that brand new motorcycle you just bought and want to ride instead of going to church or reading your bible is staying here. The bible says that we should store up heavenly treasures, not earthly ones. Strive to store up heavenly treasure.That bible verse you read today, it stays with you. God will use them in your life, and will use them to touch the lives of others.)

3. Never Give Up
4 games into the Stanley Cup Finals, Redwings has won 3, Penguins 1. The Redwings only had to win one more game to take home the cup. Game 5, Penguins win in 3 overtimes. Talk about not quitting. They kept fighting until the end. We will be in heaven forever, we only have a few numbered days on this earth to reach people. Can you imagine being able to look into the window of hell. Oh, there is that kid next door, there is that lady that sat next to me in my office for 15 years, there is my kid brother, my aunt, my uncle, my cousin, there is my son or my daughter, there is that girl who needed money on the side of the road, there is that guy who works the cash register at the store, there is my spouse, my best friend, my teacher, my boss, that poor girl that got pregnant when she was 16 and I turned my head --I didn't talk about her but I didn't help her either. Who will you see? Ask yourself this question, pretend you are looking in the window of hell, how many people do you see that you had an opportunity to witness to and didn't. I pray that when you look in that window, you don't see yourself. Never give up. God wants to use you to save someone from going to hell. Quit thinking that it is not your responsibility and that Gods will is for you to do nothing. Living a good life does not save people. If your child was drowning, would you want someone to jump in and save them or simply walk on by and hope the next person will get them out before they drown.

I know I do not do enough for Christ, I know I am not reaching every soul that I can reach. I know that I am not helping every person in need that I can help. But my goal is to allow Christ to touch as many lives as possible through me. Your body is God's, and if you are not allowing him to use you, you are not in God's will. If you think that it is you that touches the lives of others, it's not. It is God that works through you. It's your choice to live for Christ, and to win souls for Christ. It's your choice as to whether or not you feed your soul with God's word and prayer. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to become spiritually mature? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to grow your church and win souls for Christ? Are you willing to help the children, make food for funerals, help people in need, set up chairs, sweep floors, do video's, take pictures? Are you willing to be a servant for Christ? You must first have a servant's heart, before God can use you to lead. Jesus was a servant, his disciples were servants, why do you think he would expect anything different from you?

What is true love?

Have you ever experienced true love? Yesterday I visited my Aunt, it has been five weeks now since she lost her true love. I can't imagine losing my soul mate, spending 42 years of my life with them, only to lose them. The words, "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all," comes to mind. As much as I know she hurts right now, if I were to ask her if she would do it all over again, she would most definitely say yes.
I have visited with her several times over the past five weeks. Her heart grieves so deeply, deeper than I can truly comprehend. She has had some really tough days, and I know she has more ahead of her. Saturday she received a phone call from someone who did not have knowledge of my Uncle's passing, she picked up the phone and was asked if Leon was there. I can imagine in her heart, for a brief second it probably felt so normal, picking up the phone and hearing someone ask to speak to Leon. But then, it all came crashing down on her as reality set in, she began to explain his death to the person on the other end of the phone. She spent the next few hours making phone calls, and trying to find someone to talk to. She just needed someone, anyone. Every number she dialed, it seemed no one was available, leaving her alone to think about everything she did not want to think about at that moment.
I went to visit her yesterday, we spent an hour talking to each other. She was able to spend the day with a friend and get out of the house. I was fixing to leave, and she told me to hold on a minute. I walked back to her bedroom with her, she had been going through some of his clothes and wanted me to take some of them to my dad. She had 2 shirts lying on the bed, and she picked them up and asked me to smell of them. She picked up one held it to her face and breathed in through her nose, she said this one still has the smell of his cologne. She picked up the next one and once again lifted it to her face before asking me to smell of the shirt. She said this one has been washed, but it still smells just like him. The shirts were lying on her bed because she sleeps with them at night. She wants to be able to smell him lying next to her while she sleeps.
As much as she hurts, she would never wish this hurt on him. She told me that if one of them had to go before the other, she was glad it happened the way it did. She said she would have never wished this kind of hurt on him, and feared that she did not feel it would have been something he could have handled. That is true love. Every second she grieves for him, she proves the love she has for him.
I know I have the same love in my life. My husband never misses a moment of showing his love to me and appreciating me. Sometimes I catch him just staring at me, and there is the most loving smile on his face. I know there is nothing he wouldn't do for me. He doesn't talk about how pretty women on TV are, he always lets me know how beautiful he thinks I am. He always makes me feel as though I am the only girl he wants to look at and be with. I don't feel like I have to measure up to all of the other beautiful women in the world. I love my husband with all my heart, and I know one day one of was will be grieving the same way that my Aunt grieves today. But our love is worth it all.

It's not an ordinary day

As our pastor said today, it's our choice to make this an ordinary day. It was not an ordinary day for my house. It's not even an ordinary week. Today I taught the kids that we all have choices to make. We must choose to brush our teeth everyday, if not our teeth become ugly, and they begin to hurt. We must choose to feed ourselves everyday, because if we don't our bodies become weak, and we will not survive. You may be wondering what choices my family made this week to make it an un-ordinary week for us.
First I want to say that I am so proud of my husband, because he is choosing to live a healthier lifestyle, he no longer must take blood pressure medications. We would think that little things like watching what we eat so we could be healthier would seem an easy task, but it's not. I know I have an addiction to food, i just love the taste of certain foods. My husband and I were talking, and we decided that we should not think of food as something we desire to have, yet it is fuel for our bodies. I know it has not been an easy choice for my husband to make on a daily basis, but he is starting to feel so much better.
Second, I want to say that as a parent this is one of the proudest days of my life. Matt and I have been talking to Zach and praying with Zach all week. the other night, I watched Matt as he taught Zach how to build a bird house. It became a lot more than a father and son working in the shop, that night his daddy taught him much more than how to build a bird house. That night his daddy also taught him how to accept Jesus into his life. The week went on and Matt and I continued to pray with him and teaching him that he was the only one who could make this decision in his life. Tonight I sat in the floor, with my baby boy sitting in my lap. Tears streaming down my face, I began to explain to him that I knew the day he was born that God had special plans for his life. Time and time again God has spoke to Matt and I through our son. As I began talking to him about the salvation of Jesus Christ, he began to cry. Wiping the tears from his eyes, and the tears still streaming down my face, he told me he was ready to accept Jesus into his heart. He wanted his Daddy to come and pray with him, and Matt lead him through accepting Christ into his heart.
My family will all be together in heaven some day. What a great peace and great joy for my family, knowing that we have all made that decision. It is not an ordinary day in the Duke house. Soon my daughter and son will be baptized together, and I will cherish this very un-ordinary day for the rest of my life. I am thankful for the love of Jesus Christ, my heart is so overwhelmed with joy right now that I can't even think of the right words to say. Other than I am very thankful for this most wonderful day.

When God Speaks..........

Isn't it nice when someone calls you just to say hello, and to let you know they are thinking about you. I know it means so much to me, to get an e-mail with words that were meant especially for me, or a phone call. It means even more when God takes time to let me know he is thinking about me, and lets me know that he cares. I have days that my head is sometimes filled with doubt, or stress, and then someone will send an e-mail and say, "I don't know why but I have had you on my heart all day and I have been praying for you." That day, my uncle had passed away and this person did not know it. But I could hear God saying, "hey, I'm here and I'm taking care of you," audibly through someone else. I'm a kid like that sometimes. Wanting my daddy to give me a hug and tell me he loves me and just assuring me that everything is going to be OK.
We all have days when we feel so much less than ideal for anything God wants to use us for. I can't tell you how many times another friend of mine has come to me at church and said, " I really feel like I am suppose to pray for you," not knowing why or what was going on, but almost everytime I would sit there with tears streaming down my face as I listened to my heavenly daddy speaking to me once again. My friend did not know why she was praying or what she was praying about. I thank God for friends that are obedient to God. I thank God for speaking to me through my brothers and sisters in Christ. Every time he speaks to me, I feel as though he is telling me his grace is sufficient, and I am sufficient to do God's work and that no matter what he is my daddy and he loves me.
Next time you feel like God is telling you to pray for someone or call someone, be obedient. They may need to hear what their heavenly daddy is trying to say to them. They may need a little lifting up.
Have a blessed day.

Words not spoken......

As you have read my last few blogs, death weighs heavily on my mind. I sat with my Aunt yesterday and listened as she talked. Some things that she said really lies heavy on my heart. She said if she had only known that day was going to my Uncle's last, she would have said so many things.
Unspoken words typically have an eternal effect, whether it be on your life or the the life of someone else. If you never ask Christ to be your personal savior, then eternally you will burn in hell. Once you die, it's over. All of those things you wished you would have said or done, you will no longer have the opportunity to do. Once you die, the eternal effects of the words you never spoke will begin to reap havoc on your eternal life. Some people may say they do not know if they believe in heaven and hell, I will tell you this, the only way to truly know is in death and then it's too late.
As for my Aunt and the words she never spoke, those are things that will haunt her memory. We all have things we wished we would have said or done. Truth be known, she was with my Uncle 24/7, I am sure he knew how very much she loved him. She showed that to him on a daily basis in every little thing that she did for him. Sometimes love is shown more in what we do and not what we say. Once again that too can have it's eternal effects on your life as well as the life of others. My Aunt has been blessed with that over the last week. People have been stopping by, people have been praying for her and listening to her. The actions of people have truly been uplifting to her, in a time that she describes as the worst pain she has ever felt in her entire life. No words can take away the pain she is feeling right now, but she says that she can feel the prayers of her friends and family everyday.
Who do you know that needs to hear about the love of Christ? Who do you know that needs for you to show them the love of Christ? How many prayers have gone unsaid because we don't have the time? Once again....unsaid prayers are unspoken words. It's time to quit thinking that we have time. It's time to stopping thinking that someone else will speak to your neighbor or that person you work for. It's time to stop thinking that maybe tomorrow, I will stop by the house of that person who just lost a loved one. Today is all we have. Let's not leave to many unspoken words behind.

In Memory of Uncle Leon

The parking lot overflowed , onto both sides of the street. People poured in, relatives, friends, and neighbors of the deceased. Every seat was full, and people were lined against every wall. What an impression he must have made, for so many to come and pay respects to Uncle Leon. Music played, that was dear to his heart. I could visualize him on stage singing, "On the wings of a snow white dove." Words were spoken, memory's were shared, many tears were cried, and even some laughter filled the air.
The lights were flashing as the line of cars preceded to the grave. Hands to forehead, there was one final salute to be made. Flag draped over the casket, the sounds of the trumpet rang clear. My son standing in front of me, on his head laid my tears. Respectfully, the flag was folded in an orderly fashion. Then placed in the hands of my dear Aunt Patsy. People passed through one last time, to give comfort to the hurting and give their final goodbye.
He is home with Jesus, probably playing his guitar. I can hear the tunes he's playing, probably some Ole' country song. One day we will be home with him, first we have more work here on earth to do. But when we are done, Uncle Leon, we will be coming home with you. I can't wait to see how beautiful heaven must truly be. Because our father in heaven, created it especially for you and for me.

Death

Death does not understand hurt
Death does not know love
Death does not know lonliness
Death does not know the loved ones left behind
it does not comprehend the tears that are shed
or the emptiness that lies inside.
Death is never really expected
but inevitably it always comes
Death is something feared
either by ourselves or by someone we love

It was in death that I found hope
It was in death that my sins were washed away
It was a loved one that was sacrificed
so a paradise I could gain
It was in death that created a grace
that is greater than any sin we could commit
It was in death that God sacrificed
more than I could ever bare.
As he watched his only son
beaten, bruised, and tormented beyond my wildest nightmare.


There is eternal hope in death. Heaven is not sad, it is a happy place to be. A place that was created for God's children you see. I know that if I created a home for my kids to live, it would be the most wonderful place you have ever seen. So I can only imagine what my heavenly father has created for you and me.

30 days to live.........or not.

In our home groups we have been discussing life with only 30 days to live. This week God has brought many people into my life. The first person is a vendor that comes into my store every other week. She lost her husband a few months ago after he had a 4 year battle with cancer. I felt truly bad that I did not know of her loss until now, but she has never spoken of it before. I don't know how the conversation came about this week, our typical conversations are about her new grand baby. I began to realize not only did I not know about her husbands death because she had not spoken of it before, but also because she always has a smile on her face. I don't remember a day that she has come to visit with me that she wasn't smiling and just enjoying the new grand baby. She always has photo's to show, she truly loves her kids and grand kid. She spoke of how God has gotten her through.
The next person that God brought into my life this week was a customer, and her name is Diann. She was very friendly, we talked for 15 to 30 minutes in the isle. She has colon cancer, she was diagnosed in 2005 shortly after her mother died of pancreatic cancer. She had no idea, her doctor had been treating her for ulcers due to the stress of her mother, and because the medication was not working he sent her to a specialist. She had surgery in 2005, the cancer had already moved to the liver and she continues chemotherapy today. In her words, not so much to get rid of the cancer but basically to keep it from spreading any further. She explained to me that her husband had also been diagnosed with colon cancer, and gave God many praises that they caught his in time and he is doing well. As she began to walk off I asked her name, and she said Diann, and I said to her that I would keep her in my prayers. She said that it is Gods grace that has brought her through this and she clings to God daily. She did not say that sadly, she said it with joy in her heart and in her voice. She thanked me for her prayers and walked away.
The next person is not someone that was just brought into my life, it was my uncle. My phone rang at 3:30 am, and my heart was racing as I picked up the phone. He passed away yesterday morning around 3 am. He and my Aunt Patsy had been married for 42 years. He was the best man at my parents wedding. Everyday I drive past his house on my way to pick up my kids, he is typically outside on the porch swing. I can see him right now, he would always lift his hands to wave as you went by, even if he didn't know who you were. He was always full of laughter and silly jokes and he did not have to know you to cut up with you. I don't think he knew a stranger. If you truly want to know how many lives a person can touch, attend a funeral. Or stop by my Aunt's house today, because people flooded in all day yesterday. Each with their own stories about Uncle Leon, there were tears and laughter, flowers and food, and heartfelt friendships grieving with their friends and family members.
My Uncle was only 67, nobody knew that yesterday would be his last day. My aunt did not know that when she went to wake him up, that he would not respond. I listened to her as she cried and talked to him at the funeral home yesterday. Her love for him was so deep, and she kept repeating how badly she was hurting inside. She kept saying that it was so hard, why did it have to be so hard. As each person went up, the words my daddy, my pa, my uncle, my friend, went out. All were crying and all missed him dearly and they were all hurting deeply. I stood beside my daddy with his arms wrapped around me and my tears streaming down my face as I watched. My dad and his brothers held her hand, they held her as she walked, they spoke words of comfort, at least the best they could. Just being there was probably more comforting than anything. As a church we often forget that. It's our job to hold the hands of hurting people, it's our jobs to speak words of comfort, it's our job to check on them and to just show them love.
Cindy Grizzle was there yesterday. My cousin Trish was her best friend. Cindy has been down this road before. I called her yesterday morning on my way to work, knowing she needed to know. Cindy showed God's love all evening, she never left my cousins side. She fixed her plate, she waited on her kids and the other family members, she held her hand. It's not about the words, it's about a servants heart. I know that my cousin will never forget that as long as she lives. That is what showing God's love is all about.....being a servant. It meant so much to me as well to have her there yesterday. It meant so much to me that Cara called and for some reason I had been in her thoughts all day. She did not know that my Uncle had passed, but God had placed me on her heart. We talked on the phone, and she too offered to come and sit with us or take care of our kids. Once again, the love of God was shining through.
I really loved my Uncle. I can see that he was really loved by a lot of people. A year ago, I wanted to learn how to play the guitar. He is very instrumental, so I went to ask for his assistance. I felt very humble before someone so experienced. But he was willing to help. Too bad I gave up so soon. He left his legacy in his daughter and his grand kids. I know they will always think of him and what he taught them every time they play and sing. I told my cousin yesterday, not too many people had a stage built in their front yard. Uncle Leon would have concerts in his front yard, he truly enjoyed music. Not just his music, but he also took time to listen to his friends and other family members sing and play. He was always asking me to come to church and sing another special. He had invited us to go with him and Patsy to hear my cousin Blake sing.
What I want to say about each of these people, is that I can see God in them. Through the smiles, and even in the hurt, the one thing that remained constant was they all knew that God would get them through. They all knew that God was going to take care of them, even in the hurt. But even in the hurt that I know is in each one of them, I could see a peace that surpasses all understanding. As I sat around yesterday visiting with family and friends, I realized what an impact that one person can make in their lifetime. What legacy will you leave behind? How will you be remembered? Are people there because you are the person that led them to Christ? Are people there because you gave them food when they had nothing to eat? Are people there because they had a close relationship with you? The day of your funeral truly says a lot about who you were and the lives you touched.
We don't know how many days we have. It doesn't matter what age you are, everyday could be the last. Monday is my husbands birthday, and I have tried very hard not to push that aside during this weekend. Out of love for me, my husband says that birthdays come every year and not to worry about him. I replied, no they don't. We have to enjoy them now, because we may not have another. I am very thankful for my family. When I say my family, I mean all of my family. My husband, my kids, my parents, my aunts and uncles, cousins, and my new family... fuel church. I am very blessed to have been apart of so many lives.
As I left my Aunt's house last night, or actually as anyone left last night, No one missed a hug or an I love you before they walked out the door. It took a little longer to leave, but it was that sense of I don't want to miss my chance. I pray that you don't miss your chance. As you walk about today, don't miss the I love yous or the hugs, don't put off another day of picking up the phone and inviting your friends and family to church, don't wait for someone else to take care of that family who needs food on their table. This could be your last, so make it count.